Am I too old for Halloween...

...cause WTF... ?!

I dressed up as a Tim Burton doll. Black and white stripey dress, awesome fur collared vest thingy, crazy wirey hair, lots of black eye make-up, dull lips.

First stop was a co-worker's party. Gorgeous house, older crowd, amazing food, photographer, psychic. I had to leave before I could get a reading... but, I probably should've stayed there all night.

Second stop was the Monster Ball. Mostly Asian, mostly in underwear, crappy DJ, mostly 25 year olds, and I wasn't dressed like a hooker so I felt a little out of place -- though, I did get some nice compliments on my crazy hair.

My favorite part of the night was in the bathroom with Emily -- the woman working there said, "You have the toilet seat stuck to your skirt." We looked, and she had the seat cover hanging out of her underwear.

What happened to the days when girls wore clothes for Halloween? When people dressed up scary, or in an actual costumes that weren't meant to just look slutty...? And, at what point did it become "sexy" for girls to bump and grind on each other... ?!

hopeless place

Tonight, this guy says to me, "...so, you're a great catch just waiting to be caught...".

It's weird how some things can make you feel completely trapped.

I think my readership has plummeted after I removed my blog link from the status on my gchat... but, it had to be done. ...or, maybe my subject matter and "protection" of those I'm writing about has made me less searchable. Either way, thank you (YOU) for still reading.

Tonight, I gave a speech at work about stage combat as part of a series we're doing called "Why I love...". It's an internal get-to-know-your-co-workers kind of thing, but done all out - complete with posters, trading cards of the speakers, and wine and cheese for good attendance. I wished for severely broken legs before the speech and I believe it was a success...and, actually, it was quite an invigorating process to have to go through. There are moments when I realize that I'm pretty lucky to work at the company I do.

Tonight, I also had a drunken reading of some old journal writings over the phone with a good friend. I used to be so deep, he said... so, I've decided to include the following in this space since I seem to be in a moment of taking risks. I wrote this just before I moved here, I think, so...11 years ago? I have written part of this on my blog before, but here it is in its entirety, unedited:

Everything melds into this blur of coffee and canned conversation and I begin to wonder if a focus point exists in a world full of passion originated from an underground emphatic determination to find truth in the beauty of pure expressed emotion. And I know that they all are connected by a right of purpose ununderstood, but they...know... And I get lost sometimes....in the conversation...in the passing thoughts of your fingers drumming on my back a perfect rhythm...and I float off to a place where it still doesn't make sense but the view is better. Can I feel it? Do I hear it? Can I see? But who are you to judge my intentions locked up in your own insecurities pushing them on to me.... if you don't like me, quit trying to stand next to me and how dare you kiss me on the cheek and expect me to kiss back. And the race begins again....for impressions nervously made in a noisy bar for all of the uninterested spectators to see that you have the courage to make me walk away without ever seeing who you are....and I become that girl....who's beyond superficial meetings but can't seem to get away from them. I'm looking for inspiration with all the rest of the directionless people working on 4 hours of sleep and wondering why they didn't seem to notice because they were too tired to care....And all of a sudden it becomes clear. I drop the chains off my back....and stare into the distance....

Love LIFE

"I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do." - Lucas, Empire Records -- quoting Mark Twain, I think. ?

I went on more abandoned places adventures this weekend, then ended up at a corn maze for zombie tag. Zombie tag was not as fun as it was supposed to be but, regardless, it was pretty fun being out in the corn maze and the day/night adventures were just generally great all around. I have to admit, I think going to the abandoned amusement park terrifying haunted house actually made the zombie tag maze a piece of cake. It was interesting to discover a positive outcome from that experience...

Dîner en Blanc

I was invited to Le Dîner à San Francisco about a month ago.  This was the invitation I received from my friend Keenan: 

The first Diner en Blanc San Francisco is happening this October, and I'm on the reservation list. This means that I get to have a table with three guests for the event.

It started in Paris 35 years ago, so calling it a flashmob sounds kind of déclassé, but essentially, that's what it is. 1,000 people will descend on an undisclosed, iconic, outdoor location, bringing dinner, tables, chairs, and ambience, and wearing all white.

If you're reading this, then I think you may be interested in joining along, however, if we follow the rules, only three people can come. We'll see how that goes...

For the curious, a blog about this year's event in Paris: http://paris.untappedcities.com/2011/06/17/in-pictures-the-2011-paris-diner-en-blanc/

~~~~

From what I understand, this event had more like 3500 people. 

We met in the Music Concourse in Golden Gate park. 

It was quite a spectacular sight to find so many people dressed in white mingling amongst the fountains and tables.  They launched little, elegant, hot air balloons at random intervals and had Parisian street signs posted around the event. 

For dinner we brought:  champagne, wine, salad, tamales, meatballs, and banana cream pie.  We lost the girl who was supposed to bring bread, cheese, and fruit at the last minute to a broken down car, but were joined later by a last minute invitee who brought us much needed candles and water. 

The temperature was perfect and I was in great company. 

Thanks Keenan!

The exhibit

After the wedding in Portland (see last post), I went back to my hotel room and slept for something like 3 hours.  I had planned to walk around a bit but apparently my body needed rest, so much that I woke up achy... Yup, sick.  Just in time to hop on a redeye to New York for work. 

I was called to New York last Wednesday.  They wanted me to leave on Thursday so I could be at work on Friday. I would stay through the weekend, work Monday and Tuesday, and head back Wednesday (yesterday).  It would've meant a free weekend in New York, but missing the haunted amusement park, seeing Jason and Erin, and attending Stacy and John's wedding.  Work said I could come when was best for me, but that being there Monday and Tuesday would really help out -- especially because they wanted me to work the exhibit Tuesday night. 

A 10:25pm departure.  I downed some Niquil at the Portland airport and hoped for the best.

I'm usually a really good plane sleeper and Niquil tends to knock me out... but, I landed in New York about 5 hours later having barely slept a wink.  I went to my hotel room, showered, changed, and started my Monday. 

Work was a bit of a blur, and everyone kept telling me how great I looked.  ?  ...which seems to happen to me when I haven't slept at all.  The less I sleep, apparently, the better I look.  ??  It's consistent and very weird. 

I did manage to sneak in dinner with a friend on Monday, but it was an early night.

Tuesday I woke up with the chills.  I got up and took some Dayquil and Advil and wrapped myself up.  The sucky part about being flown to New York for work is you have to work.  I got up, showered, and headed in. 

Tuesday night I got to see the exhibit, finally, after so much anticipation.  The exhibit was a huge public art installation we did for one of our clients.  The executive I work for was a lead in the creative direction of the project, so I did a ton of support work on it.  I had seen bits and pieces and was hoping I'd have a chance to see the finished product in person so, even though I knew this trip (aside from being sick) wouldn't afford time to play, I was really excited to have the chance to come out.  It was beautiful!!  Just what I expected.  I was so happy to be there to celebrate it with my executive and the lead principal on the project.  Really detailed, inspiring, magnificent work.

I went to bed early that night as well, slept in a bit on Wednesday, headed straight to the airport, slept all the way back to the bay, went to bed early again last night, and here I am... 

City of Roses

I arrived in the City of Roses on Saturday afternoon and realized that the last time I had been there was in 2006, just before Danny and I broke up... Who knew that would come rushing back as I walked passed the security gate... 

Portland hasn't changed -- it's just as beautiful and friendly and easy as I remembered.  I, on the other hand, have changed quite a bit....

I needed to run some errands, so I went to the mall across the street from my hotel.  I walked in and a very handsome young man started talking to me.  He said he was looking for his new fiancé and wanted to know my name.  I told him and said that I was looking for a make-up brush.  As I walked away, he called to me.  "Kristen, wait up!  So, you're not wearing any make-up right now?  Well, then you don't need it because you look beautiful.".  He was sweet.  He asked my age so I told him I was 36, and he said, "I'm 19, but I'll be 20 next week.  Can I call you?". I told him I was only there until tomorrow but that he had just made my day. 

Next on the agenda was a dinner with Jason and Erin and their two beautiful kids.  It was so great to catch up with them and meet their little ones. 

This visit was for Stacy and John's wedding.  They had a late happy hour reception on Saturday night, and then a nice ceremony in small banquet hall in the woods on Sunday afternoon.  I didn't get to see them enough, but I wish them the very best as they move forward in this new phase of their life. 

Reckless abandon

This photo is of an abandoned hospital, the third of three stops on a late night spooky adventure.  

The first stop was a terrifying abandoned amusement park turned haunted amusement park in Guerneville.  I don't actually like haunted houses, and I don't know if I've ever been as scared as I was in this one.  My heart was beating out of my chest and I was literally sweating by the time we walked out of there.  I actually think there was a point at which the people working/scaring felt sort of bad for me.  I'm kind of embarrassed at how completely terrified I was...but, one of the guys I was with said I was great, that the people who worked there were waiting for someone like me to show up all night, and that he wished he could be in my head and feel that way.  !!!

The second stop was an abandoned winery in Santa Rosa.  A beautiful dilapidated set of buildings at the end of a field -- covered in graffiti with the moon shining through the fallen roofs. 

I have a friend who has a thing for abandoned stuff and, apparently, I "seem like a risk taker" so he knew I would go on this adventure.... the haunted amusement park was a little much for me.  The rest of it was a little spooky, but lovely...  

Dodgeball!

My company entered a design firm dodgeball tournament and it was sooo much funnn!!!  Dodgeball is somehow way better as an adult.  ?  ... although, we did have this weird moment where Kelvin was cussing out the ref while Rob yelled at the team for "NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER OR COORDINATING ENOUGH!!'  ha!  Wow...  :)


This week was full of awesome.  Aside from getting out of the office for dodgeball day, I had a great catch up session with Joan, movie night w/ Noah and Joe, Dodgeball practice which was weirdly fun, my aunt and uncle were in town! BBB, Anna's birthday party, my first guitar lesson, Lachelle at Luka's, Broadsword at the Marina, Brian's birthday party, and a fun night with Michael.... and, I still have more weekend to go.  ;)

Fully loaded

"What made you start smoking again?"

"...well, that's a loaded question."

"Sounds like it must be a loaded answer..."

We wander, shop, dance, and then head to the courtyard for some air.  We sit on a bench not far from a guy who is lighting up a cigarette.  Another guy walks up and stands in front of the smoking guy and absently starts shaking his ass to the music -- which makes the smoking guy twist all up on the bench to avoid the shaking ass.  I giggle.  Me and smoking guy make brief eye contact and he scoots out of ass shaking range to greet us with a slurry introduction. 

"Hi, I'm Aaron... I just came from a wedding... what's your names?  ...wow, can I just say that the two of you look absolutely stunning tonight.  *grin*"  (Aaron wasn't actually his name...I heard him wrong.)

A mix between Ben Affleck, Richard Gere, and...a baby?  He's really drunk, but sort of strangely charming.  ?

Aaron tells us about his job and shows us videos of him on a boat.  He then pulls out a joint and starts smoking it while displaying an app on his phone that counts how long it's been since his last cigarette.  ....  ???  He tells us he just started smoking again about a month ago...

"What made you start smoking again?"

He proceeds to tell us detailed stories about a Japanese woman he got pregnant who ran away with his baby, two failed marriages, run-ins with Katt Williams and Dave Chappelle, and a letter he wrote to Maury Povich... his stories are laced with humor and dripping with charm.  "...but, what made you start smoking again?".  Another story would replace the answer. 

Before he goes, he starts spelling something in my ear again and again.  "It's my name..." he says, "A. R. ..." he starts giving me mnemonic devices so I won't forget it.  "Do you want me to find you?"  I ask, "and, will you tell me why you started smoking...?!"

He's about walk away, when he leans in one last time to say, "I have a live-in girlfriend who doesn't like it when I smoke.  I'm trying to get rid of her.  Find me."  

Did I forget to mention the supernova...

There's so much I haven't mentioned from the last couple weeks... birthday parties, shows, Jennifer's departure for college, flash mob class, a night at The Lost Church, nice dinners with friends, work events, a ukulele session, a soul house party, and a perfect adventure though the Oakland Hills in search of the supernova...

:)

This weekend, I had a great night out with Gabriella, Keenan, Brian, and Teresa.  A quick stop at a gallery, then off to Berkeley to see a David Bowie cover band and Total B.S. (Bob Segar).  We thought Matt would be playing with Total B.S. but apparently he broke his hand...!  So, we missed him that night, but super fun show and super fun time regardless!!

Saturday, I cleaned, did laundry, took a dress to get tailored...then met up with miss Kara for a night on the town.  We found ourselves at a bar in downtown Oakland for a drink, then off to the New Parish for some dancing 'n stuff.  We met a fascinating man at the Parish...which I will have to blog about separately.  :) 

Today, (er...yesterday) I went to flash mob class, caught up a bit with Gabriella, took an amazing nap, had a quick dinner w/ Digs, then headed out to pub trivia with Brian, Teresa, Jen, Justin, Robb, and friends.  We got third place tonight!

My life's been a little taken over by plans with my amazing friends these days... but, I'm so lucky to have so many amazing friends.  :)  I do want to start thinking about classes and shows again soon though...

City of Angels...

I'm dancing at a club, and this tower of Asian yumminess says to me, "Are you ready for this?" and does a sexy unbutton-his-shirt dance to reveal a tiger tattooed across his very nice chest.  I giggle...and just keep dancing.  ?  He pulls me into his arms, which puts me about a foot or so off of the ground, and then lifts me above his head and kind of caveman yells while I dangle and squeal and thank God that I'm wearing little dress shorts instead of a skirt.... !!

A very unplanned last minute road trip with the girls.  :)

I'm no longer allowed to listen to Niggas in Paris while driving but, aside from that -- dim sum, shopping, the Tim Burton exhibit at LACMA, taco trucks, clubbing, the beach, Caribbean food, getting lost, giggling, music, girl talk, driving...

...the Asian caveman comes by to dance and then wanders off -- he is friends of friends, a little Sung Kang and a little...Marky Mark(?)... and, a little bit aggressive for my taste. 

At the end of the night, he pulls me close and asks, "Are you scared?" 

"I'm kind of scared..." I admit. 

He says, "Don't be..." 

...I turn my head and his kiss lands on my cheek...

Things I'll never forget:  to pay attention to the road while Niggas in Paris is playing, how generous and lovely girlfriends can be, that the beach is always amazing and, no matter how many kisses are dodged -- a sexy tiger will make an impression... 

;)

lost in space...

One night, in a room in a beautiful house in San Juan Capistrano, I sang an entire Sundays album to an audience I that thought was sleeping...

A head full of daydreams. A heart full of...

Adventures in art 'n stuff

After a treacherous piggy back ride (I was in 4 inch heels) over hills of concrete, dirt, shrubbery, and boulders, we made our way through this amazing graffiti homeless tent camp and found ourselves here... by the bay.  Metal and concrete, paint, words and pictures. 

Another friend and I found ourselves admiring a giant mural on Shotwell after watching a short documentary about street art at the MOMA. 

This weekend was full of random adventure, new places, great art and great friends.  I went to the Marin Shakes steampunk Tempest, a lindy hop class/dance, a hookah lounge, had a lovely breakfast with some lovely ladies, hit a music festival in Japantown, saw a movie, had a breakfast/walk with a favorite, got a massage, and had a nice dinner/dessert.

Long weekends with no plans seem to fill up with the best things.