Anxious

I have so much on my mind that I can't get through my book... 

Where should I begin? 

I seem to be on the verge of getting a job.  Of course, I've thought that since the moment I got my first interview but, this time, references are being called so it's much more likely to really happen.  I feel like I can't wait, but I'm also very nervous about it. 

And, my Grandma called me the other day to check on my job search.  I called back and there was no answer and she hasn't called back.  It's not a big deal, but I've been thinking about my grandparents a lot lately...  I got to spend some very special time with them over their anniversary weekend and I miss them.
 
Then, yesterday, the guy at the bagel shop, who I've been getting bagels from for like...11 years? told me that both his parents just died so he's moving to LA.  His brother (whom we thought was his dad or maybe an uncle) might not be able to keep running the shop by himself, so he might close it down... :(

I'm sitting at Starbucks trying to read a book, and I can't get through a page without my mind flooding with so many things...  Meanwhile, I've been watching a guy with a clipboard alternate between being ignored or completely confronted by the people on the street, while a very loud, deep voiced business woman talks on the phone next to me. 

It's 80 degrees on a Friday in Oakland and I'm feeling consumed by everything around me. 

Creative self portrait 1

I was thinking my next post would be, "Hey, I have a job!", but no such luck...

But, Aatman is home -- YAY!!!

I haven't had a chance to spend too much time with him yet, but we're hoping to remedy that very soon.

I'm actually not sure what else to say.  I've been very fortunate to find some free/cheap things to do in the last couple weeks, and have seen friends here and there, but my days have been pretty lonely.  I'm only pursuing the companies I'm really interested in at this point, which has drastically slowed down my interview schedule.

I've been reading a lot, taking walks to get coffee, watching squirrels jump through the trees and scurry along telephone lines, and just continuing to listen to the sounds of my neighborhood...  

Broken record

It's always darkest before the dawn... but, how dark does it actually have to get?  

I'm winding down on conversations and feeling a bit frustrated.  I keep getting these really nice rejection letters making it sound like I was their second choice... Not just "We enjoyed meeting you, but decided to move forward with someone else, good luck...", but, this:  

"After a long deliberation we have decided to move forward with another candidate at this time. I think you are a great candidate and could be a perfect fit for another position in the future. I strongly urge you to reapply and I will keep your resume around for more openings as I think you could be a great addition to the team."  :P  

One of these lovely notes said that, even though the team decided to go with someone else, their feedback on me was very positive, so the company would like me to interview with a another one of their teams.  

I suppose, as far as rejections go, these are the ones I want to have... ?  Yes, these are the ones I want to have.... 

Staying hopeful, moving forward, and going to give it my all in round 2.  Keep sending love, though, cause I definitely need it.  

Plenty of fish...

I'm driving home one night, and I notice that my email says my Match.com registration has been approved... ?  And then, my profile edits have been received and my profile has been approved.  ...but, I'm driving and I never signed up for Match.  ?  I get home and immediately request my login information, which is easy to get since my email address was used.  I open my account to discover that I'm a 46 year old woman from Arizona...  I have no picture, and my description says something like, "I'm just on here because I thought I might as well give it a shot.  I like to eat ice cream and watch movies... " etc.  This is obviously a mistake.  ...and, strangely, a mistake that has a password similar to the ones I use... ?  I have the power, so I cancel the account.  Done.

I chat Aatman to tell him what happened and, as we're chatting, I get a confirmation from POF (Plenty of Fish) that my account has been set up.  This time, my user name is Ihaveaboyfranalready... UGH!  I have been hacked!!  I start to change passwords, check privacy settings, freak out...!

I am, again, able to get into POF because my email address was used, so I get the link to set up a new password and try to figure out how to delete the account.  The cancellation page informs me that I have to wait 24 hours before I can cancel.  GRRRR!  In the meantime, even though my user name is Ihaveaboyfranalready, I start getting messages.... :P

....there's a moment, when it dawns on me, that maybe someone who disapproves of my relationship is doing this to terrorize me....

....and then, it dawns on me, that maybe Aatman has done this to be funny.  I ask him, and he says something about Clark Kent and Superman and, after some confusing back and forth, admits that he set up POF for me as a joke.  He asks if I've read the profile.  Of course, I haven't because I've been busy thinking I've been HACKED!!!

!!!!!

Aatman assures me that he didn't set up the Match profile, and starts apologizing profusely for making me feel hacked and terrorized.  He thought I'd get it right away because he made my POF password "gooniessux"... which is a joke between us because Aatman hates Goonies and I think it's one of the best movies of all time.  :P  ...but, since POF sends the link to set up a new password, rather than sending the password created, I never got the obvious giveaway.  BAH!

The whole thing is incredibly annoying to me-- until the next day when I start reading my POF profile.  Aatman filled the profile with cute references to our relationship, including a description of our first date as my "ideal first date".  There were a number of sweet statements about how great we are together.

...he manages to win me over every time... :)

*heart*