Tuesday, April 5, 2016

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I dream about lollipops and earthquakes, a secret embrace, a broken earring and a table that was meant for two....


I'm not really sure what to say.  Aatman broke up with me two months ago under circumstances that left me devastated to the point where (with the exception of Stacey, and a couple of close friends who caught me in weak moments), I couldn't figure out how to talk about it with the people that I'm closest to.  So, I didn't.  Or, I haven't.  So, if you're reading this and it's the first time you've heard of it, that's why.

We were planning on a future together.  We had talked through all of the possible scary things we were up against, and decided that we could work through them together because we made a great team.  Our good significantly outweighed our bad, and most of the bad seemed manageable -- except maybe his parents -- but, that would change once they met me, right?

I never met Aatman's parents because, before I could, they ganged up on him with his sister, expressed their complete disapproval of me (based on superficial criteria), and gave him an ultimatum of them or me.  He couldn't walk out on his family, so he broke up with me.

It was like a bad dream.

I wanted to talk through it with him, but he needed some space -- so, I signed up for therapy, stumbled upon a bunch of articles about how often this happens in the Indian community, watched Meet the Patels, started working out like a fiend, did my best to pick up the pieces from my broken awesome life, and began the process of erasing a future that would now go on without me.


An exploding heart used to mean something different to me than what it does today.
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