Am I too old for Halloween...

...cause WTF... ?!

I dressed up as a Tim Burton doll. Black and white stripey dress, awesome fur collared vest thingy, crazy wirey hair, lots of black eye make-up, dull lips.

First stop was a co-worker's party. Gorgeous house, older crowd, amazing food, photographer, psychic. I had to leave before I could get a reading... but, I probably should've stayed there all night.

Second stop was the Monster Ball. Mostly Asian, mostly in underwear, crappy DJ, mostly 25 year olds, and I wasn't dressed like a hooker so I felt a little out of place -- though, I did get some nice compliments on my crazy hair.

My favorite part of the night was in the bathroom with Emily -- the woman working there said, "You have the toilet seat stuck to your skirt." We looked, and she had the seat cover hanging out of her underwear.

What happened to the days when girls wore clothes for Halloween? When people dressed up scary, or in an actual costumes that weren't meant to just look slutty...? And, at what point did it become "sexy" for girls to bump and grind on each other... ?!

hopeless place

Tonight, this guy says to me, "...so, you're a great catch just waiting to be caught...".

It's weird how some things can make you feel completely trapped.

I think my readership has plummeted after I removed my blog link from the status on my gchat... but, it had to be done. ...or, maybe my subject matter and "protection" of those I'm writing about has made me less searchable. Either way, thank you (YOU) for still reading.

Tonight, I gave a speech at work about stage combat as part of a series we're doing called "Why I love...". It's an internal get-to-know-your-co-workers kind of thing, but done all out - complete with posters, trading cards of the speakers, and wine and cheese for good attendance. I wished for severely broken legs before the speech and I believe it was a success...and, actually, it was quite an invigorating process to have to go through. There are moments when I realize that I'm pretty lucky to work at the company I do.

Tonight, I also had a drunken reading of some old journal writings over the phone with a good friend. I used to be so deep, he said... so, I've decided to include the following in this space since I seem to be in a moment of taking risks. I wrote this just before I moved here, I think, so...11 years ago? I have written part of this on my blog before, but here it is in its entirety, unedited:

Everything melds into this blur of coffee and canned conversation and I begin to wonder if a focus point exists in a world full of passion originated from an underground emphatic determination to find truth in the beauty of pure expressed emotion. And I know that they all are connected by a right of purpose ununderstood, but they...know... And I get lost sometimes....in the conversation...in the passing thoughts of your fingers drumming on my back a perfect rhythm...and I float off to a place where it still doesn't make sense but the view is better. Can I feel it? Do I hear it? Can I see? But who are you to judge my intentions locked up in your own insecurities pushing them on to me.... if you don't like me, quit trying to stand next to me and how dare you kiss me on the cheek and expect me to kiss back. And the race begins again....for impressions nervously made in a noisy bar for all of the uninterested spectators to see that you have the courage to make me walk away without ever seeing who you are....and I become that girl....who's beyond superficial meetings but can't seem to get away from them. I'm looking for inspiration with all the rest of the directionless people working on 4 hours of sleep and wondering why they didn't seem to notice because they were too tired to care....And all of a sudden it becomes clear. I drop the chains off my back....and stare into the distance....

Love LIFE

"I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do." - Lucas, Empire Records -- quoting Mark Twain, I think. ?

I went on more abandoned places adventures this weekend, then ended up at a corn maze for zombie tag. Zombie tag was not as fun as it was supposed to be but, regardless, it was pretty fun being out in the corn maze and the day/night adventures were just generally great all around. I have to admit, I think going to the abandoned amusement park terrifying haunted house actually made the zombie tag maze a piece of cake. It was interesting to discover a positive outcome from that experience...

Dîner en Blanc

I was invited to Le Dîner à San Francisco about a month ago.  This was the invitation I received from my friend Keenan: 

The first Diner en Blanc San Francisco is happening this October, and I'm on the reservation list. This means that I get to have a table with three guests for the event.

It started in Paris 35 years ago, so calling it a flashmob sounds kind of déclassé, but essentially, that's what it is. 1,000 people will descend on an undisclosed, iconic, outdoor location, bringing dinner, tables, chairs, and ambience, and wearing all white.

If you're reading this, then I think you may be interested in joining along, however, if we follow the rules, only three people can come. We'll see how that goes...

For the curious, a blog about this year's event in Paris: http://paris.untappedcities.com/2011/06/17/in-pictures-the-2011-paris-diner-en-blanc/

~~~~

From what I understand, this event had more like 3500 people. 

We met in the Music Concourse in Golden Gate park. 

It was quite a spectacular sight to find so many people dressed in white mingling amongst the fountains and tables.  They launched little, elegant, hot air balloons at random intervals and had Parisian street signs posted around the event. 

For dinner we brought:  champagne, wine, salad, tamales, meatballs, and banana cream pie.  We lost the girl who was supposed to bring bread, cheese, and fruit at the last minute to a broken down car, but were joined later by a last minute invitee who brought us much needed candles and water. 

The temperature was perfect and I was in great company. 

Thanks Keenan!

The exhibit

After the wedding in Portland (see last post), I went back to my hotel room and slept for something like 3 hours.  I had planned to walk around a bit but apparently my body needed rest, so much that I woke up achy... Yup, sick.  Just in time to hop on a redeye to New York for work. 

I was called to New York last Wednesday.  They wanted me to leave on Thursday so I could be at work on Friday. I would stay through the weekend, work Monday and Tuesday, and head back Wednesday (yesterday).  It would've meant a free weekend in New York, but missing the haunted amusement park, seeing Jason and Erin, and attending Stacy and John's wedding.  Work said I could come when was best for me, but that being there Monday and Tuesday would really help out -- especially because they wanted me to work the exhibit Tuesday night. 

A 10:25pm departure.  I downed some Niquil at the Portland airport and hoped for the best.

I'm usually a really good plane sleeper and Niquil tends to knock me out... but, I landed in New York about 5 hours later having barely slept a wink.  I went to my hotel room, showered, changed, and started my Monday. 

Work was a bit of a blur, and everyone kept telling me how great I looked.  ?  ...which seems to happen to me when I haven't slept at all.  The less I sleep, apparently, the better I look.  ??  It's consistent and very weird. 

I did manage to sneak in dinner with a friend on Monday, but it was an early night.

Tuesday I woke up with the chills.  I got up and took some Dayquil and Advil and wrapped myself up.  The sucky part about being flown to New York for work is you have to work.  I got up, showered, and headed in. 

Tuesday night I got to see the exhibit, finally, after so much anticipation.  The exhibit was a huge public art installation we did for one of our clients.  The executive I work for was a lead in the creative direction of the project, so I did a ton of support work on it.  I had seen bits and pieces and was hoping I'd have a chance to see the finished product in person so, even though I knew this trip (aside from being sick) wouldn't afford time to play, I was really excited to have the chance to come out.  It was beautiful!!  Just what I expected.  I was so happy to be there to celebrate it with my executive and the lead principal on the project.  Really detailed, inspiring, magnificent work.

I went to bed early that night as well, slept in a bit on Wednesday, headed straight to the airport, slept all the way back to the bay, went to bed early again last night, and here I am... 

City of Roses

I arrived in the City of Roses on Saturday afternoon and realized that the last time I had been there was in 2006, just before Danny and I broke up... Who knew that would come rushing back as I walked passed the security gate... 

Portland hasn't changed -- it's just as beautiful and friendly and easy as I remembered.  I, on the other hand, have changed quite a bit....

I needed to run some errands, so I went to the mall across the street from my hotel.  I walked in and a very handsome young man started talking to me.  He said he was looking for his new fiancé and wanted to know my name.  I told him and said that I was looking for a make-up brush.  As I walked away, he called to me.  "Kristen, wait up!  So, you're not wearing any make-up right now?  Well, then you don't need it because you look beautiful.".  He was sweet.  He asked my age so I told him I was 36, and he said, "I'm 19, but I'll be 20 next week.  Can I call you?". I told him I was only there until tomorrow but that he had just made my day. 

Next on the agenda was a dinner with Jason and Erin and their two beautiful kids.  It was so great to catch up with them and meet their little ones. 

This visit was for Stacy and John's wedding.  They had a late happy hour reception on Saturday night, and then a nice ceremony in small banquet hall in the woods on Sunday afternoon.  I didn't get to see them enough, but I wish them the very best as they move forward in this new phase of their life. 

Reckless abandon

This photo is of an abandoned hospital, the third of three stops on a late night spooky adventure.  

The first stop was a terrifying abandoned amusement park turned haunted amusement park in Guerneville.  I don't actually like haunted houses, and I don't know if I've ever been as scared as I was in this one.  My heart was beating out of my chest and I was literally sweating by the time we walked out of there.  I actually think there was a point at which the people working/scaring felt sort of bad for me.  I'm kind of embarrassed at how completely terrified I was...but, one of the guys I was with said I was great, that the people who worked there were waiting for someone like me to show up all night, and that he wished he could be in my head and feel that way.  !!!

The second stop was an abandoned winery in Santa Rosa.  A beautiful dilapidated set of buildings at the end of a field -- covered in graffiti with the moon shining through the fallen roofs. 

I have a friend who has a thing for abandoned stuff and, apparently, I "seem like a risk taker" so he knew I would go on this adventure.... the haunted amusement park was a little much for me.  The rest of it was a little spooky, but lovely...  

Dodgeball!

My company entered a design firm dodgeball tournament and it was sooo much funnn!!!  Dodgeball is somehow way better as an adult.  ?  ... although, we did have this weird moment where Kelvin was cussing out the ref while Rob yelled at the team for "NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER OR COORDINATING ENOUGH!!'  ha!  Wow...  :)


This week was full of awesome.  Aside from getting out of the office for dodgeball day, I had a great catch up session with Joan, movie night w/ Noah and Joe, Dodgeball practice which was weirdly fun, my aunt and uncle were in town! BBB, Anna's birthday party, my first guitar lesson, Lachelle at Luka's, Broadsword at the Marina, Brian's birthday party, and a fun night with Michael.... and, I still have more weekend to go.  ;)