The garage

I put this giant picture in the garage by the recycling... I had intended to put it up in my apartment, but it turned out to be a little too pink.  Imagine it taking over an entire room in a very obnoxious 'no escaping' kind of way.  So, I got rid of it.  ...and hours later found it placed against the back wall of my building's dreary parking garage looking quite amazingly charming.  :)

~~~
(a garage vignette.)

I was getting out of my car and was met by a neighbor getting out of his car. 

"Well, good evening..." he said. 

"Hi" I replied. 

He asked how I was doing, and then started telling me that he was thinking that he should charge my parents for his mirror because he wouldn't have hit the pillar if he hadn't been looking at me.

o_O ... I must've been giving him a blank stare, so he elaborated. 

"Remember that day, you were pulling out and I was pulling in [to the garage] and I hit that pillar shattering my side mirror?  I was thinking I should charge your parents for my mirror because I wouldn't have hit the pillar if I hadn't been staring at you."  He followed this with a little chuckle. 

I didn't know how to respond so, again, I probably looked kind of blank. 

I think he actually gave me another iteration as I was searching my memory for this incident.  It did seem familiar... but then, I immediately got caught up in the fact that my parents aren't biological, so they have nothing to do with how I look and shouldn't be charged for this... and then, I thought, maybe it had something to do with what I was wearing at the time (yes, my mind does this)...which started me imaging all of my outfits, and which one might've been capable of making someone run into a pillar...  it must've been a red dress, which made me feel like I did remember this happening and the thought that passed through my mind at the time was, "Dude - that SUCKS... "  ha!

I told him I did think I remembered it. 

There was an awkward silence.

How the hell are you supposed to respond to passive aggressive flirting... ?! 

Me... and then Dave Chappelle. Yup.

I went to an art opening at Project One - this spot located in the "Design District" of San Francisco. Great art. Cool space. And Dave Chappelle was there - RIGHT NEXT TO ME - TWICE!!! I thought it was only once until I saw this picture. Who knows, maybe he was following me around all night!!! ... I mean, I know he wasn't following me around - at all - but I easily (obviously) could've brushed by him a couple of times without even knowing it.

When I actually did see him, he was standing outside getting a picture taken. I wanted to talk to him or take his picture or shake his hand or...something(!), but he walked away before I could make up my mind and approach him. Now all I have is this candid shot that happened to capture both of us in the same place at the same time. (I'm in the red in the lower left corner. He's straight across on the right.)

...Hm, in a way, I guess I did get a picture...

Shake gently

I do my best to get out and ... well, live.  Experience, see, absorb...but, I think sometimes I over do it.  Well, I know sometimes I over do it. 

This week, I tried to not overbook myself - but then had a couple impromptu dinners, had to work on closing out the show, saw Beardo, went to comedy, and went to an art show where I ran into Dave Chappelle.  (I know, right?!)

I do my best to keep things fresh, but I think the key word here is "gently"...  cause I'm exhausted.

Eight

We challenged 8 performers to fill 8 minutes...

Co-produced with my friend Joan, this show was no easy feat... but the end result was pretty freaking amazing.

I was asked if I found any of the acts surprising, and I actually found a bit of surprise in each one of them. 

Here are two words highlighting what made each piece exceptional.

Nikolas - powerful, humorous.
Gabriella - complete style.
Sky - visceral imagery.
Texas - comedic brilliance.
Andrea - creative message.
Audrey - sentimental beauty.
Rebecca - polished, amazing.
Skorpio - skilled, charming.

Rob did a perfect job running tech, Natty was a great stage manager, Dave rocked the bar, we had chairs ;), and our audience was lovely. 

A reunion of sorts

Andy's birthday party.  :)

...

The Mass and Lower Forty Eight.

I still have the playlist from the first Mass show ever played in San Francisco...  It was the one thing I couldn't part with the year I gave Matt a collection of reviews and other Mass related things I had accumulated over the years.  The show was at the Attic with Good for Cows - March of 2001.  It was a Sunday. The guys had a jar full of ear plugs for the audience that night, and were tame in the photos I took of them.    

The first time the Mass played with Lower Forty Eight was for an LFE CD release show in an upstairs...gallery?  Phil had seen them play and invited them to open.  Andy and Ian were in suits that night, and Andy's guitar playing was aMAZing!  After the show, I told Matt that I really liked the Forty Eight Feet people.  Matt had a knack for translating my butchering of band names.  "You mean Lower Forty Eight?" 

My favorite shows were: the night they played 12 Galaxies after their tour, the BoTH CD release show, the Halloween show at Matthew's warehouse, Toxic Beach, and the Golden Bull show after their last tour.

I miss going to see these bands - late nights, smack talk, cigarettes, venues covered in stickers and sweat... 

Up until their first tour, I could count the Mass shows that I had missed on one hand.

The biz

There's something about being backstage that I love... wait, change that to being anywhere near a stage....  :)

I just love being in the theater.

Last week I shadowed my favorite lighting designer friend for the Destiny Arts show, this week I'm volunteering with the stage manager and the prop master at a Z Space show, and next weekend I'll be putting up a show I am co-producing in an underground warehouse space.  I'm working on what I want my focus to be in this industry, and doing anything anyone will let me until I figure it out.  :)

In the meantime, I'm meeting talented people, learning a ton, and seeing some incredible shows!  These last two shows have been remarkably powerful.  The Destiny show gives inner city kids a voice and a place to express themselves and impact their communities for positive change, and Sins Invalid is an amazing look at people with disabilities and their unsurpassing beauty. 

I have a name

I saw this on an empty newspaper dispencer on a walk in Oakland.  My friend, Kelvin, said it reads, "I have a name..." 

Bloodline

The whole nature versus nurture thing has been creeping up on me lately - how maybe my history is right in front of me all of the time...I just have to look in the mirror and pay attention.  

I don't want to find my biological parents (which is the answer to the question you're about to ask).  I have a great family and, as I said to a friend the other night - I don't think I want to know the tragic story, or the glamorous life I'm maybe missing out on, or the parents who just didn't want me.  ...but I do think about what about them I carry around with me everyday... 

I watched The Kids Are All Right - a film about a lesbian couple who both have a child from the same sperm donor.  In the film, when one of the kids turns 18 they decide to connect with their biological father.  The "bank" makes the connection...and on the story goes...  Eventually, the moms meet the donor as well.  I don't want to give it away - but, there is a moment in the film where one of the moms says to the donor, "I just keep seeing my kid's expressions in your face."

...  could that be real ... ? 

Julia Morgan

Tonight I got comps to see Narnia.  What a wonderfully charming little show!  Loved the costumes, the set, the staging, the lighting - the characters were great and the fights were AWESOME... :) 

....

I took my first Bay Area acting class in one of the Julia Morgan Center studios -- a room with a soft wood floor and windows full of natural light looking out into the redwoods....

I love re-discovering a beautiful place. 

Cyclone

I ended up at an underground warehouse show tonight where I got to see Joan Jeanrenaud play.... AMAZING!!!! 

Perfect sound, a raised stage, cafe tables with tablecloths and flowers, a bar and a sound booth, stairs leading to platforms and to rafters, paper umbrellas, a latter hanging from the ceiling hanging lights, heat lamps, old signs, projections on the wall, great musicians and great people.

The Bay Area never ceases to surprise me.

Age 6

A curly haired little boy with glasses and a toy train - corduroy pants, a polo shirt, and a knit sweater.

Another little boy with a buzz cut and a baseball cap - starter jacket, warm up pants, and a bouncy ball. 

A rainy Sunday afternoon in a laundromat...

"Hi! Nathaniel!  Hi - do you remember me?"

"Ummm... "

"Do you remember me?  I was in the class with you..."

"Ummm...hmm, I don't know...?  Which class?"

The boy in the baseball cap's dad interrupted and politely said to the boy with the curly hair, "I remember you."  Turned to his son and said, "Nathaniel, he was in the class with Miss..." 

The conversation trailed off as my dryer stopped.  My clothes were still wet, so I dropped a few more quarters into the machine.  Another 15 minutes to wait.  I tuned back in as the boy with the curly hair was quietly returning to sit with his dad...

A few moments later, the boy with the baseball cap approached the boy with the curly hair.

"Oohhhh, I remember you."  He said grinning with recognition, as the bouncy ball slipped from his hand and the boys began to play.

The boy in the baseball cap's dad approached, and the dads began to chat.  They seemed to have a nice conversation, but soon their laundry was finished and it was time for the baseball capped boy and his dad to head home.

The boy with the baseball cap looked at the boy with the curly hair and threw himself at him with a giant embrace saying, "Byeeee!"  The curly haired boy didn't seem to know what to do.  As the boy in the baseball cap and his dad walked out the door, the curly haired boy turned to his dad looking confused and kind of giddy.  The curly haired boy's dad sort of shrugged/smiled, looked up ... and caught me smiling too. 

:)

Cubby

"Being an artist doesn't take much, just everything you got.  Which means, of course, that as the process is giving you life, it is also bringing you closer to death.  But it's no big deal.  They are one and the same and cannot be avoided or denied.  So, when I totally embrace this process, this life/death, and abandon myself to it, I transcend all this gibberish and hang out with the gods.  It seems to me that that is worth the price of admission."  - Hubert Selby Jr.

The summer I learned to play chess

I would wake up at 3pm, take a shower, work until sometime after 10, head to the club, dance until 2am, go to the Mexican guys' house, watch them play chess until sunrise... and then I would go home to my hole-of-an-apartment and sleep... until 3pm.

I met the Mexican guys when I was a waitress at the Greeley Country Club. Miguel, Dino, Mike...? I can't remember all of their names... but one of them accidentally shot Carlos in the leg one night... Carlos was on crutches for months...

There was a busboy at the country club who would sing me songs... "I just wanna fly..." Chad Timkovich? I'll never forget him, his songs, or his blue eyes following me across the dining room...

If I wasn't playing chess, working, sleeping, dancing, or dreaming - I was writing... in my journal or on my walls... in the wee hours of the morning...listening to the silence that only resonates just before dawn...

...

GAMH and things

After the Valentine's Day show, and the complete absolute madness around my birthday show before that, and DECEMBER before that... wait, now I've lost my train of thought...

...

Oh right - basically, after about 2 and a half months of complete insanity, I have no set travel or show plans in the immediate future and have actually been able to relax.

This is what I've been doing with my time:

Christopher Titus's The Neverlution at Marine's Memorial Theatre
Tron, the movie
Hip hop class
Audition (I didn't get the part)
Prince at Oracle
SFMOMA
DAI Fight workshop
Oscar night
What We're Up Against at the Magic Theatre
YBCA: YOU kick-off
The Glass Menagerie at Town Hall Theatre
Jessica's birthday / Total B.S.
Jesus Christ Superstar sing through at Ashby Stage
Devotchka at The Great American Music Hall

...and some lovely dinners with Matt, Jess, and Wilder, Sky and Dan, Maureen, Sara, Jen, Michael, Josh, Joan, Shannon, Anna... a nice afternoon visit with Sarah, David, and Zoey, lunch with Gabriella, and one awesome night of foosball w/ Andre and Jen.

*sigh*

The jasmine is blooming outside of my apartment and things are good. :)