Pink

I decided to change the status quo... so, I put on a pink shirt and had a macaroon for breakfast.  :)  

Two things have impacted me greatly today: 

1.  Faith is the key. 

2.  It's not rewarding bad behavior; it's not letting others change who you are because of their actions.  ....keep pouring honey until they taste the sweetness.... 

I went to see a show on Sunday called White Rabbit, Red Rabbit -- a piece written by an Iranian man who was denied a passport for not doing the required military service in his country.  He wrote a play and sent it out into the world instead.  The play is done as a cold read by a local actor and creates an acute awareness of the playwright, the present place in which the play is being done at which the playwright is absent yet present in words (?), and is completely entertaining while also being completely confrontational.  Fascinating, thought provoking, value challenging.  Holy crap.  A game changer.  

Here's a song that seems fit.

http://www.myspace.com/music/player?sid=61786679&ac=now

I suppose I should also mention the APA Vagina Monologues, an amazing creative workshop day in Half Moon Bay, and the 2nd Annual Wine Competition - reminiscent of a night that would change my life forever.

- though, doesn't everything...?

Dream a little dream

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper, "I love you"
Birds singing in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me

(This is a picture of the super moon from a week or so ago at the Lake Chalet with Anna and Andy....)

I saw a fantastic play at Cutting Ball theater on Friday night.  It was a documentary theater piece called Tenderloin using incredibly versatile, talented actors to bring a diverse, run down, avoided part of town onto a little, black box stage.  Aside from being beautifully performed, the piece brought to mind the humans we tend to forget about when faced with their conditions.   It was an impressive, inventive take on what might have otherwise been forgotten stories...  Thanks Simón. 

On Saturday, I got to spend time with Terry, a very pregnant friend of mine that I used to hang out with in college.  It was so wonderful to just tool around with her and catch up. 

And then, Sunday, I got to see Sky and Dan!  After some previously missed efforts, we finally found ourselves together at a pub in the Haight for a lively catch-up session.  It was soo good to see them.  ...actually, to see all of the above.  :)

I just realized how much has happened since I last wrote, including the House of Prime Rib, twice, and almost getting killed at an abandoned Silo.  Oh, and I saw the Color Purple at Stanford tonight.  Nchedo was in it.  She was fantastic! 

It's amazing going to the House of Prime Rib with a bunch of young guys who have too much money.  Lots and lots of wine.... :)  It's fascinating to go, again, with a whole new set of guys who can finish off a plate to get to the, apparently, free second plate of meat.  !! 

All I have to say about the Silo is when someone is throwing bottles and bricks from a top floor broken window, and seems to be aiming to hit you, it's time to get the hell out of there. 

The Marty party

The Marty party was a private birthday concert thrown in an unmarked space just off of Union Square.

Marty is quite a talented singer and song writer -- and also happens to be a very romantic husband.  During this concert he sang a bunch of original songs, a few well done covers, and a favorite song of his wife's that he'd been rehearsing in secret to play for her for his birthday show!   ...  <3  An inspiring night of love and talent, and friendship!  The room was full of what seemed to be Marty's closest friends... and, me. 

I met Marty when Josh and I joined the dragonboat team a few years ago.  When we broke up, the team decided they wanted to keep me....  and then, a few of their guys hit on me right away.  I was so upset that I started avoiding the team, and this has gone on for the last couple of years.  Since then, Marty and his wife have come with Andy (one of the few people I've kept in loose touch with) to support me in some of my shows, and I guess that somehow managed to get me on this very special guest list. 

Take a bow

Last weekend....

I went to Friday Nights at the de Young Museum to see the Gaultier exhibit with Gabriella.  Incredible.  INCREDIBLE.  

Saturday, I went to Angel Island for Shara's birthday party.... and then, to the Naked and Famous concert with Alex, Rebecca, and Jason.  (I meant to take a shower between the party and the concert, but instead I took a nap, and then chased a bug around my apartment...)

Sunday, I assisted a small sword class, helped choreograph some slaps for a production of Othello, checked out the Cherry Blossoms Festival, and saw Solo Sundays at Stage Werx with Anna. 
 
AWESOME...!!! 

It all actually started on Thursday, with the Alex Kelly cd release party.  Alex's cello playing puts me in some kind of a crazy, blissful, trance....

~~~

(Saturday around 6:30pm)

.... I woke up from a nap to find a Mosquito Eater in my living room.  Yeah, ew.  I wanted to keep it alive because, at the time, I thought Mosquito Eaters actually ate Mosquitoes...but, I just read on wikipedia that they don't.  :P  Awesome.  Anyway, I'm also really bad at squishing bugs, so it seemed to make sense to try to help it back out of the open screen door, from which I can only assume it came.... 

I chased the Mosquito Eater around my apartment using a piece of paper to scare/guide it back toward the door.  I was focused, swiping at it gently - keeping it moving while climbing the couch and brushing against walls - determined to get it back outside to eat more Mosquitoes!  

Finally, the Mosquito Eater flew right in front of the door so, with a gentle swing of the paper, I knocked that sucker right out.  Victory!  ....at which moment I realized I'd been running around chasing a bug in my underwear in front of a giant open door for about 30 minutes straight.  Damn.  My neighbors must love me... or, find me completely inappropriate and ridiculous.... 

*bow*

wersthecat

Sometimes I wake to little ears perked over fluffy billows on an old feather bed I store on the top shelf of my closet.  Mercy leaps up there gracefully from the top of my clothes tower.  When she hears me stirring in the morning, her little ears appear and wait for me to show signs of being awake, and then she jumps down and greets me on my bed.  She likes to nudge her head into my hand while incessantly purring.  Frankie J also likes to greet me on my bed in the morning, purring and headbutting... but, Frankie will stop and cuddle if she finds that I'm still hitting snooze. 

There's a great Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin sits up, sleepy in his bed, and is suddenly very aware of Hobbes flying through the air at him.  Hobbes tackles him and they roll around in a scuffle, and when they stop, Calvin says, "It's hard to stay mad at someone who misses you while you sleep.".  :) 

~~~~~~~~

I haven't mentioned that I attended my first Jewish Seder. Isabel and Wilder and Emily all had birthdays. Maureen had a bbq.  And, I got to see an amazing performance by the Marcus Shelby Orchestra.  All awesome in distinctly different and delightful ways.

The Ides of March

I agreed to let my friend Michael sign me up on eharmony for one month. 

Online dating has been kind of a nightmare because I HATE dating.  HATE.  HAAAATE.  So, what could be worse than putting me in a position where I'm supposed to go on a bunch of dates?!  ...but, Michael's sick of watching guys jerk me around, and thinks I deserve someone who will give me everything because I'm gorgeous and I deserve the best, and eharmony has a formula that works....

Ah, such great intentions.

We started a subscription on the 15th of March -- the Ides of March -- because that seemed like a good omen for this kind of experiment... ?  ...and, since then I have gone out on 2 eharmony dates, and one date with a friend of a friend.  (I figured, if I had to date anyway, I might as well test reality against the internet...) 

The result so far is -- I still hate dating, and I have no desire to go on a second date with any of the dates.  I have also rejected countless unsuspecting men who think I joined eharmony intentionally.  ...and, in the process of all of this, I have sort of fallen for the guy Michael was trying to help me forget.  Awesome. 

So, now what... ?  I have two days left in this experiment and then I'm DONE.  ...and, I'll be left with a bit of a broken heart because, now, I know that what I want.... is someone who's kind of jerking me around....


*sigh*


*the photo is from an amazing day I had in Half Moon Bay with a bunch of creative people working on various projects.  We took a break to walk on the beach...

Tahoe!

This weekend I went to Tahoe for snowboarding with Brian and Teresa!  I can actually barely type this because my arms are so sore from falling -- but, it was totally worth it.  (ow.) 

For starters, we had the most perfect weather.  Perfect.  Clear roads up and back, with a gorgeous snow storm right smack in the middle.  Slopes full of lots and lots of fresh powder!  So. Much. Fun.  !! 

Of course, the pain in my arms, legs, back, neck, etc. comes from my complete lack of snowboarding skills.  ...and, although powder is great to fall in and board through, it's pretty hard to get up out of.  (ow.)  ...and, regardless of the powder, I just tend to fall.  ...but, still...so much fun.   :) 

We stayed in a cabin with Brian and Teresa's friends, Chris and Lorena.  A few of their friends were also staying for the weekend.  Excellent company all around. 

It was so fun to spend the weekend in nature with great friends.  I feel like I've been beat up a few times, and I'm not sure I'll be able to move tomorrow, but I think I progressed a bit on the board, and I can't wait to go again.  Next time... I'll really learn to carve....?  I think I might need to invest in a helmet.  ;)  

(ow.)

I am.....so-bored-at-work....!!

...though, aside from being bored, work has actually been going really well... I mean, I'm getting along with my boss, I love my co-workers, we have fun things going on, and I don't mind any of the work I have to do - there's just not enough of it!  I like to be really busy.  Like, crazy busy.  Like...on the verge of chaos.  ...but, lately, I get everything done in the first 30 minutes I arrive, and the rest of the time I obsessively check facebook, read RSS feeds, listen to music, email, chat, send links to people I think will appreciate them, take walks, stand in the kitchen, go to auditions... okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little and it's not really that bad -  but it's not really good....  For me, anyway.  Although, every time I feel like this and wish for chaos, it generally happens, and not always in the good way so.... maybe I should stop right here and say that things are good... I just want to be busier, please.  

BAH!

~~~~~~

The list:

Hunger Games w/ Josh
Dinner w/ Gabriella
Happy Hour w/ Star
Trivia!
Dinner w/ Matt and Jessica

Tonight is soccer.  Tomorrow - Tahoe... :) 

Rain

We finished the short film today in the rain. It was an easy end after last week's all day shoot. I'm anxious and a bit nervous to see how it will turn out - it's the first film I've starred in...

After the shoot, I had an audition for a student film and then a couple parties on my calendar. I went to the audition, and then skipped the parties for a much needed night on the couch with the cats. I love it when both cats snuggle up with me, especially on rainy nights. It's like being surrounded by little furry heaters.

Although this week was tiring, it was full of amazing conversations, great art, interesting challenges, and so much fun! The highlights include: A Doctor in Spite of Himself with Lachelle, Playground with Noah, lunch w/ Alex, Skype date with Holly, dinner w/ Brian and Teresa, catching up with Stacey, dinner and half of Titus Andronicus with Alessandra, and out and about with Anna and friends. So many good things... :)

Sara

This is Sara's profile picture from facebook. Even though she's gone, her account is still active.


I have developed an easily argued against theory (yes, you read that correctly) that the preview of your friends on facebook reflects the people who stalk you the most. Most of the time, my theory seems to make sense because the people who show up in my preview seem to be the people I hang out with or are who I would imagine would be the most curious about me - and, it tends to be the same people, or a variation at the same rate that the people I hang out with vary... but, in the last few days, Sara has been showing up in my preview...

I was talking with Stacey tonight and realized that maybe I haven't done a good job in dealing with Sara's death. I haven't really talked to anyone about her because I don't want to bring people down... but, maybe that means I've sort of avoided dealing with the loss. I feel like I tend to deal with death in a very personal way, though, so maybe talking about her isn't necessary. I don't know. ? At the same time, I do publicly blog about her...

*sigh* ...the pain from it seems to creep up on me when I least expect it.

Post show blues...

*this picture is from Eight! - featuring the side of the house where no one was sitting... :P

I had so much anxiety and anticipation leading up to Eight! that I found myself with a big case of the post show blues the next day. The best way to cope with the post show blues is to throw yourself into another show or project so, that weekend, I found myself back on set for a short film. A director friend of mine asked me to play a runaway bride.

Dressing up as a bride and running around the city makes people think you are actually getting married...which, I guess makes sense, and was fascinating.

The rest of the week was weirdly exhausting... and then this weekend was a mess. I completely overbooked myself to the point where I actually forgot about one of the events I said I would go to, filming yesterday took about 7 hours longer than we scheduled, and I've missed multiple other engagements.... it's very unlike me to be flaky, so it's making me feel crazy and awful, but I guess it's the result of really overdoing it.

This next week will be just as bad, if not worse... but THEN... I will... I want to write slow things down, but I have a feeling I will just acclimate instead. ;)

Eight!

Take 2!

I. am. exhausted....but, still awake and blogging. 

Eight! 

8 acts for 8 minutes.  An incredible lineup of performers.  A
good cause.  A Thursday night...

My incredible lineup:

Edwin Li:  stand-up comedy
Jessica Gruner: literary reading
Nikolas Strubbe: storytelling
Texas Holly: burlesque
Kara Penrose/Me: stage combat
Bernard Vash: clowning
Michael Katz: storytelling
Matthew Solberg: music

I also had Brian Koloszyc serving his tasty home-brewed IPA, Aria
Zuloaga displaying her beautiful artwork, Robert Liebsch perfecting
our sound, Tony Walker working/securing the door, Teresa Tamburello
rockin' the bar, and Joan Howard flawlessly running the house.

A big thanks to everyone who made this night possible and successful....

Tonight is a full moon

This photo was taken last night, which feels like days ago...

Eight! goes up tonight. 

I'm second guessing the outfits I've picked out even though last night they seemed perfect, the emcee notes are written, the programs are printed and folded... my head keeps spinning through the possibilities of attendance, how my fight will go, how the night will go...? Did I put the performers in the right order? What if we don't have enough people in the audience? What if we have too many? Was it a mistake to really put myself out there by performing in this show?

Part of the proceeds from tonight will go to Destiny Arts, an inner city youth organization dedicated to violence prevention and using theatre and dance to promote social change. It's a program that I believe in, and that also fits with my goals of pushing and promoting local art. 

Giving back to the community was an important part of this process for me, which gave me a whole new perspective on producing the show. Making money for the kids trumped my insecurity about performing...which means I invited everyone. I know this is good for me, but it's really pushing my limits.

I've dedicated the show to the memory of Sara.... You know, cause adding multiple layers of conflicting emotions seemed like an excellent idea....

*deepbreathandjump*

Totem!

Thanks to Michael and Kevin, I got to take Nchedo and myself to the opening night of Totem in San Jose!

Cirque shows never cease to impress me.

This show had a beautiful rollerskating piece, some really hunky ring guys, and a delightfully unique juggling act. They also had lots of sparkly costumes. :)

They pushed the limits with...head balancing? I don't know what else to call it... Head balancing another human on the end of a pole while walking on elevated bamboo sticks. And, their trampoline stuff was done on skinny, flexy beams that were also held in the air. CRAZY! They had a very charming trapeze act, some great bowl balancing/flipping while riding a unicycle stuff, and a really wonderful Native American dancer/hoop artist? It could've maybe used a stronger storyline, but regardless, it was a fantastic show!