If only it were that easy...

The 1s

I was at a co-worker's desk yesterday and found these 1s.  He said I could have them so I took them, kept one for myself, and gave the other two to the other Executive Assistants in the office.  

Later, I sent the other EAs an email that said this:

"Look, the people you are after are the people you depend on. We cook your meals, we haul your trash, we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep."

- Fight Club. :)

Sorry to geek out, I'm weirdly obsessed with the 1s right now.

The other EAs thought i wanted to start a flight club...  Later, I sent them another email that said this:

I feel like i've just given you too much exposure to my over active mind. :)  sorry!  

what happened was, at the end of today someone asked about the 1s.  they said something like, "what's with the 1s?"  i responded, "all the EAs have 1s... (then off the top of my head said something like) you know, cause we're the 1s who do everything, and the 1s who know all the stuff, and the 1s who get blamed for all the crap..." haha...   and, that reminded me of this quote from fight club and made me realize that we are the 1s...  (pause for dramatic effect.).  anyway, it doesn't have anything to do with fight club (or anything really) directly, just reminded me of that quote from the movie.  ("...we connect your calls, we drive your ambulances.  We guard you while you sleep...")  it's a loose connection but, i guess i was thinking that we're the "we (or 1s)" he was referring to in the movie.  the people who get it all done.  sooo yeah, i made the connection, thought it was sort of interesting and that it gave the 1s a purpose, so i thought i'd send it along thinking you guys would also make the same amazing connection and we'd all be proud of the fact that we found a reason for the 1s.  ?  

:D 

(do you think i'm crazy now?  i mean, more than before...?)

Back in black

I got to work the hip hop dance fest again with the amazingly talented lighting designer, Jennyb!!  This time I assisted in the lighting booth, so took lots of notes and really soaked in all of the behind the scenes chatter that produces a great show.  It was a lot more brain work for me this year, in lieu of all the crazy running around from last year.  I missed being connected with the stage and the performers, but being in the booth felt like I was more a part of the creative process.  There were definitely benefits to doing both and I'm so grateful to have had the chance to work the show from both perspectives.

This is absolutely one of my favorite shows in the bay area.  It's so inspiring and full of energy that you can't help but leave feeling full of life and ready to dance! 

All of the groups were amazing, but my favorites this year were:  Robot Boys, Academy of Villains, Plague, and FBC.

Louise Erdrich, The Painted

"Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could."

Did you know you can mix Mucinex with a bunch of other drugs?  Here's a link in case you're interested:  http://www.bjchealth.org/?id=5488&sid=3  I'm presently mixing it with Sinex. 

Tonight started out at this bar (pictured above).  Civilized, classy, stylish.  The conversation was nice, and the company the exact kind you'd hope for after a long work week.  I stayed for a little over an hour and then headed to Alameda for dinner with a good friend at one of our favorite sushi bars -- which has remarkable customer service and the most delightful restaurant birthday celebrations I've ever experienced.  They turn off the lights and bring out dessert with this tiny golden tree, and then they all sing happy birthday with their lovely voices and Japanese accents.  It's the kind of thing that makes you smile from this deep deep place -- completely heartwarming and amazing.  When you go to leave, all the waitstaff lines up at the door to say thank you and wish you a good night.  <3

On my way home after dinner, a friend invited me out to an Irish pub in North Beach.  Now, really, you'd think I'd know better...but it wasn't so bad.  :) Silly old men downstairs, and strange enfeebled young men upstairs, but ... a cute place overall, and I was in cute company. 

==========

This week was full of awesome.  :)

Meditation with Angela
Dinner and a movie w/ Brian and Teresa
Taqueria and tea w/ Tommy
Hank IV and Andy's birthday

...but also missing a bit of awesome...which was you if you don't see yourself listed here. :)

If only I could shut off my brain

I've been kind of sad lately... while being surrounded by wonderful things. 

Day of the Dead parade w/ Noah.
Yummy dinner and Cat Lady at ODC with Aria.
Dancing w/ Alex and Joe.
Meeting w/ local Asian filmmakers, two impromptu film shoots, great connections, and new friends.
Blackbird with Anna and random city adventures.
The Ripcurl surf competition at Ocean Beach.
Come out and play games.
Perfect girl's night out at a restaurant turned speakeasy...

Direct my sail

My friend, Jon, said that taking control never works and that I should let go. "...to let go you just gotta release the handlebars..."

*deepbreathandexhale*

At 16, I was mistaken for being 12. At 19, a 6th grader (so, also 12?). At 21, a 14 year old....?!

I'm 36 and generally mistaken for being somewhere between 23 and 28 - which you'd think would work to my advantage....

Here's what's wrong with being single and looking younger than you are:

1. Guys your age or older (in my experience) treat you like you're an idiot until they find out your age.

2. Younger guys think you're their age, which gets you surrounded by lots of younger guys.


What does this have to do with relinquishing control? Well, I can't do anything about how I look. I can't do anything about who I like or don't like. I can't do anything about who likes or doesn't like me....

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

*handlebarsreleased*

If I slept, I probably wouldn't be tired.

I'm walking to a taqueria in the Mission tonight and a guy walking by points at me and says, "YOU are sexy..." I seem to always take these things with a grain of disbelief. ? ...but, maybe that's actually the problem.

~~~~

Things I haven't mentioned, but should, include: Phedra w/ the lovely Gabriella, dinner w/ Matt and Jess and little Wilder, Stella bella, happy hour w/ Aram, Punchline w/ Joan, celebration of speech victory w/ Josh and the wine bar, Total BS and Hank IV, Rosencrantz and Gildenstein are Dead (on stage!) and fancy dinner w/ Noah, and soccer w/ Teresa!

Am I too old for Halloween...

...cause WTF... ?!

I dressed up as a Tim Burton doll. Black and white stripey dress, awesome fur collared vest thingy, crazy wirey hair, lots of black eye make-up, dull lips.

First stop was a co-worker's party. Gorgeous house, older crowd, amazing food, photographer, psychic. I had to leave before I could get a reading... but, I probably should've stayed there all night.

Second stop was the Monster Ball. Mostly Asian, mostly in underwear, crappy DJ, mostly 25 year olds, and I wasn't dressed like a hooker so I felt a little out of place -- though, I did get some nice compliments on my crazy hair.

My favorite part of the night was in the bathroom with Emily -- the woman working there said, "You have the toilet seat stuck to your skirt." We looked, and she had the seat cover hanging out of her underwear.

What happened to the days when girls wore clothes for Halloween? When people dressed up scary, or in an actual costumes that weren't meant to just look slutty...? And, at what point did it become "sexy" for girls to bump and grind on each other... ?!

hopeless place

Tonight, this guy says to me, "...so, you're a great catch just waiting to be caught...".

It's weird how some things can make you feel completely trapped.

I think my readership has plummeted after I removed my blog link from the status on my gchat... but, it had to be done. ...or, maybe my subject matter and "protection" of those I'm writing about has made me less searchable. Either way, thank you (YOU) for still reading.

Tonight, I gave a speech at work about stage combat as part of a series we're doing called "Why I love...". It's an internal get-to-know-your-co-workers kind of thing, but done all out - complete with posters, trading cards of the speakers, and wine and cheese for good attendance. I wished for severely broken legs before the speech and I believe it was a success...and, actually, it was quite an invigorating process to have to go through. There are moments when I realize that I'm pretty lucky to work at the company I do.

Tonight, I also had a drunken reading of some old journal writings over the phone with a good friend. I used to be so deep, he said... so, I've decided to include the following in this space since I seem to be in a moment of taking risks. I wrote this just before I moved here, I think, so...11 years ago? I have written part of this on my blog before, but here it is in its entirety, unedited:

Everything melds into this blur of coffee and canned conversation and I begin to wonder if a focus point exists in a world full of passion originated from an underground emphatic determination to find truth in the beauty of pure expressed emotion. And I know that they all are connected by a right of purpose ununderstood, but they...know... And I get lost sometimes....in the conversation...in the passing thoughts of your fingers drumming on my back a perfect rhythm...and I float off to a place where it still doesn't make sense but the view is better. Can I feel it? Do I hear it? Can I see? But who are you to judge my intentions locked up in your own insecurities pushing them on to me.... if you don't like me, quit trying to stand next to me and how dare you kiss me on the cheek and expect me to kiss back. And the race begins again....for impressions nervously made in a noisy bar for all of the uninterested spectators to see that you have the courage to make me walk away without ever seeing who you are....and I become that girl....who's beyond superficial meetings but can't seem to get away from them. I'm looking for inspiration with all the rest of the directionless people working on 4 hours of sleep and wondering why they didn't seem to notice because they were too tired to care....And all of a sudden it becomes clear. I drop the chains off my back....and stare into the distance....

Love LIFE

"I do not regret the things I have done, but those I did not do." - Lucas, Empire Records -- quoting Mark Twain, I think. ?

I went on more abandoned places adventures this weekend, then ended up at a corn maze for zombie tag. Zombie tag was not as fun as it was supposed to be but, regardless, it was pretty fun being out in the corn maze and the day/night adventures were just generally great all around. I have to admit, I think going to the abandoned amusement park terrifying haunted house actually made the zombie tag maze a piece of cake. It was interesting to discover a positive outcome from that experience...

Dîner en Blanc

I was invited to Le Dîner à San Francisco about a month ago.  This was the invitation I received from my friend Keenan: 

The first Diner en Blanc San Francisco is happening this October, and I'm on the reservation list. This means that I get to have a table with three guests for the event.

It started in Paris 35 years ago, so calling it a flashmob sounds kind of déclassé, but essentially, that's what it is. 1,000 people will descend on an undisclosed, iconic, outdoor location, bringing dinner, tables, chairs, and ambience, and wearing all white.

If you're reading this, then I think you may be interested in joining along, however, if we follow the rules, only three people can come. We'll see how that goes...

For the curious, a blog about this year's event in Paris: http://paris.untappedcities.com/2011/06/17/in-pictures-the-2011-paris-diner-en-blanc/

~~~~

From what I understand, this event had more like 3500 people. 

We met in the Music Concourse in Golden Gate park. 

It was quite a spectacular sight to find so many people dressed in white mingling amongst the fountains and tables.  They launched little, elegant, hot air balloons at random intervals and had Parisian street signs posted around the event. 

For dinner we brought:  champagne, wine, salad, tamales, meatballs, and banana cream pie.  We lost the girl who was supposed to bring bread, cheese, and fruit at the last minute to a broken down car, but were joined later by a last minute invitee who brought us much needed candles and water. 

The temperature was perfect and I was in great company. 

Thanks Keenan!

The exhibit

After the wedding in Portland (see last post), I went back to my hotel room and slept for something like 3 hours.  I had planned to walk around a bit but apparently my body needed rest, so much that I woke up achy... Yup, sick.  Just in time to hop on a redeye to New York for work. 

I was called to New York last Wednesday.  They wanted me to leave on Thursday so I could be at work on Friday. I would stay through the weekend, work Monday and Tuesday, and head back Wednesday (yesterday).  It would've meant a free weekend in New York, but missing the haunted amusement park, seeing Jason and Erin, and attending Stacy and John's wedding.  Work said I could come when was best for me, but that being there Monday and Tuesday would really help out -- especially because they wanted me to work the exhibit Tuesday night. 

A 10:25pm departure.  I downed some Niquil at the Portland airport and hoped for the best.

I'm usually a really good plane sleeper and Niquil tends to knock me out... but, I landed in New York about 5 hours later having barely slept a wink.  I went to my hotel room, showered, changed, and started my Monday. 

Work was a bit of a blur, and everyone kept telling me how great I looked.  ?  ...which seems to happen to me when I haven't slept at all.  The less I sleep, apparently, the better I look.  ??  It's consistent and very weird. 

I did manage to sneak in dinner with a friend on Monday, but it was an early night.

Tuesday I woke up with the chills.  I got up and took some Dayquil and Advil and wrapped myself up.  The sucky part about being flown to New York for work is you have to work.  I got up, showered, and headed in. 

Tuesday night I got to see the exhibit, finally, after so much anticipation.  The exhibit was a huge public art installation we did for one of our clients.  The executive I work for was a lead in the creative direction of the project, so I did a ton of support work on it.  I had seen bits and pieces and was hoping I'd have a chance to see the finished product in person so, even though I knew this trip (aside from being sick) wouldn't afford time to play, I was really excited to have the chance to come out.  It was beautiful!!  Just what I expected.  I was so happy to be there to celebrate it with my executive and the lead principal on the project.  Really detailed, inspiring, magnificent work.

I went to bed early that night as well, slept in a bit on Wednesday, headed straight to the airport, slept all the way back to the bay, went to bed early again last night, and here I am...