So, last night, I can't get this sad song out of my head that starts with the lyrics "once upon a time...", so I post that as my status update... and this is what ensued.
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once upon a time...
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in the land of enchanted hills.
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I bought a sandwich and it was good
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so I bought another and brought it to the King
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And the king gave me a horse and rode through the town
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telling everyone how much he LOVED the sandwich! he told the town's people that anyone who brings him a good sandwich... will also get a horse. ... until they run out of horses...
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In the mean time, the horses got together and decided that their safety, health and overall well being were not to be tempered with in such a reckless manner. So instead they...
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made amazing sandwiches for the King. Upon presenting them the King granted them their freedom from humans and gave them each a large tract of land for their own.
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Until the land ran out and the King began giving away his daughters to those that brought him a sandwich. He had 7 daughters in total....
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And I gave the king 7 sandwichs. Then the king gave me all 7 daughters. But as I looked at them I quickly realized that they were gigantic. And so I took my horse and rode away very very fast...
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....the ride was terrible and my thirst great. I took a drink from the tanned deer's bladder that one of the giant daughter's gave me. It was full of her tears; she claimed her tears were more hydrating than coconut milk. As I rode I got ......woozy. The next thing I remember is coming to in a dark, dank room; my head was pounding. I wasn't able to move my body and my clothes felt soggy. A man with a taut brow in a black robe appeared in my field of vision. He stared at me then asked, "Tell me, why are you so soggy?"
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i replied, "i've been drinking the tears of a giant woman... "
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Is that like drinking from a firehose?
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said the man in the black robe...
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there was a stable boy who hated cheese puffs.
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Because...they always turned his fingers orange...
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He considered his fingers to be for either horse manure, pleasure or both. Orange would not do. Orange was a fever dream.
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the man in the black robe said aloud... "but that's probably the enchanted hills talking...ha!" still, it brought him to the conclusion that i must be soggy because i was drinking from a firehose of tears! he and i spoke of my adventures for a while until he finally said, "how can i help you, soggy man, who's been riding on a horse that owns land, with 7 giant daughters full of tears chasing you?"....i still couldn't move and didn't know how to respond. my robed friend furrowed his brow...thought for a minute...
...and then made me a perfect sandwich...
the end.
:) love you all.
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