Barbara

J-'s mom, Barbara, passed away on October 9, 2024. 

Barbara had fallen and broken her hip 3 days before, but seemed to have had a successful surgery and was on her way to recovery -- but, the next thing we knew J-'s uncle called and J- needed to get on a plane to Michigan right away. 

I only met Barbara once, in August when we visited. She welcomed me with a warm hug at the door and I found her to be sweet and curious throughout our time together. She had nice eyes and a gentle smile and, although our visit was short, I felt that we had a nice connection. I received the same warm hug from her at the end of our visit while I thanked her for everything and, as I released the hug, I noticed she had big tears in her eyes. After she and J- exchanged hugs and "I love you"s, I took a photo of the two of them together before we headed to the airport. 

A few weeks later, Barbara sent J- a Detroit Lion's t-shirt, and included a smaller matching one for me. 💗

At her service, people spoke about Barbara's commitment to serving others, her faith in God, and how she was always quite early everywhere she went. :) People also personally shared with J- about how much his mom talked about him and how proud she was of him. 

I'm so sad that you've left us, Barbara, and I'm so grateful that I got the chance to meet you. 💙

Mexico City

And, then I was off to Mexico City for Phuong's 40th birthday trip! 

8 ladies, a lot of activities and adventures, and some good learning. 

Some items I would keep in mind on my next visit would include: 

• Prepare for the altitude! No drinking alcohol and do lots of hydrating right away
• DON'T DRINK THE TAP WATER or use the water for brushing your teeth. Avoid ice and food washed in the water (salads, fruit, anything that touches the water!)
• Maybe bring probiotics and liquid IV
• Be ready to pay to use public toilets. Having pesos on hand are important for this.
• Uber only. Do not use public transport.
• Know some Spanish! Mexicans are not all bi-lingual like what we're used to in the states 😅

And, the list of adventures: 

Day 1

Checked in at Sheraton Mexico City Maria Isabel Hotel

Dinner at Salazar - altitude sickness 

"Mexico City's elevation in feet is 7,349, or 2, 240 meters above sea level. Due to Mexico City's height, visitors can often experience altitude sickness, which can really take away from their enjoyment of the trip." For a little more context, Colorado Springs is 6,035 feet, and I've experienced issues with the altitude there in the last few years. 

Day 2

Xochimilco boats - chill, very touristy

Local lunch at Mesón Santa Catarina - yum

Casa Azul - Museo Frida Kahlo - inspiring experience 

Dinner in the neighborhood by the hotel

Lucha Libre - so fun! 

Day 3

Teotihuacan hot air balloon ride over the pyramids! (4:50am pick up from the hotel, and totally worth it) 

Teotihuacan walk (pyramids)

Lunch at La Gruta - awesome cave, great salsas, and the best mole I've ever had

Visit to Bazar Fusion - great collection of boutiques

Dinner at Agua y Sal - delicious!

Some girls went to a speakeasy - Yuki and I called it a night

Day 4

Walk to Chapultepec Castle

Random Taqueria - I had the tuna tacos and I maybe shouldn't have... 

Half the group left for home in the afternoon

Attempt to head to the Mercado de Artesanias La Ciudadela and the best Uber ride 

Tour of the Museo del Chocolate

Walking Plaza de Constitución - street markets, public square 

Dinner at El Balcon del Zocalo - where my stomach issues began, but the food was great! 

Day 5

Breakfast at Panaderia Rosetta

We made it to the Mercado de Artesanias La Ciudadela :) 

It was an action packed time, I had to seriously put my Spanish speaking into practice, and I think we barely scratched the surface of what Mexico city has to offer. I mean, I know I missed out on some great food, even though I had some great food. :) 

List for next time: 

Pujol

Terraza Cha Cha Cha

Limosneros

Contramar

Supra Roma

Le Bipo

late night spot https://lacasadetono.mx/

Boston

Just when I thought I couldn't possibly travel anymore this summer, I was scheduled on a last minute work trip to Cambridge for an in person workshop. It was a week after returning from Colorado, and ended a day before I had tickets to go to Mexico City for a friend's birthday trip. 😜

But, Cambridge was beautiful and clean and old... or wait, maybe Boston was beautiful/clean/old... 

Both were nice 😉, the weather was gorgeous, we had an energizing couple of days together as a working group, and I felt honored to be a part of the work. 

I stayed at the historic Kendall Hotel and we got in a nice walk over to Contessa in Boston for a yummy team dinner! 

Montana, Michigan, Colorado

What a crazy couple of months! 

After coming back from Sensorio, I was invited to Montana and Michigan for quick visits -- and then, I had a week and a half trip planned to Colorado to see my family.  

The visit to Montana was to see my good friends, Brian and Teresa (!!) who moved to Missoula last year, and who thoughtfully invited me out to go to a Decemberists concert at the Kettlehouse Amphitheater! 

The night before my arrival, however, there was a giant storm that knocked over a bunch of trees and took out the power for most of the city! So, the first day I was there, we drove around looking at the fallen trees and planning for a weekend of camping in Brian and Teresa's beautifully designed home. :)  But then, around 11pm that night as we were finishing up some games by floodlight, the power came back on in a delightful moment and things went back to normal. :) 

The next day, I had an easy morning while Brian and Teresa did some work, and then Teresa and I went to lunch and wandered around downtown Missoula. They have a lot of cute shops and bars and a small art museum. Eventually, we headed back to grab Brian and make our way to the concert venue. 

Kettlehouse was nestled right in the mountains, the weather was perfect, and The Decemberists were impressive! 

Then, on my last day there, we got in a little hike before I headed back to the Bay. 

About a week later, J- and I were off to Michigan to visit his family (and for me to meet his family for the first time!).

J-'s mom lives in Michigan, his sister and her two daughters were also visiting from London, and his favorite aunt and uncle were there from Houston! 

We kayaked down the river, played games and rode bikes with the girls, walked the Dow Gardens and did the canopy walk (pictured above), took some late night walks to The Tridge and around the neighborhood, J- cooked all of our dinners, we ate a lot of ice cream, and we were sad to leave as we drove back to the airport. 

We were both a bit nervous going into this trip, and then it was wonderful! 🩵

And then, back Colorado for a week with my family in Colorado Springs and a weekend with my dear friend Michael in Denver! 

Family time started with a little celebration for my dad's birthday at my brother's house, and then continued with a busy and fun weekend together. We went to Casa Bonita in Denver and had a day on the boat down in Pueblo. No drama on the boat this year. Well, except for the rain. :) 

The rest of the time was filled with: my mission for the perfect sneaker, a fun afternoon with Katie, walking the dog with my mom, arcade with the kiddos, lunch with my brother, an afternoon by the pool with my sister-in-law, a visit to the Ninja Warrior gym, and a morning at the pool with the kiddos. 

Joshua and Joy are both excelling at the Ninja Warrior gym and I happened to be there when they both did a crazy laché between two bars that were... 5 or 6 feet apart(?) for the first time! Joshua is 7 and Joy is 5, and both of them are less than 4 feet tall (I think). Amazing!!

At the end of the week, Michael came to pick me up, say hello to my parents, and to see Colorado Springs for the first time! I took him on a quick tour of the Garden of the Gods and The Broadmoor Hotel before we headed back to Denver. 

The rest of the weekend we did a lot of walking, went to an audio exhibit, paddle boated, had a great sushi dinner, went up to Golden, and just had a lot of quality time to catch up and hangout together. :) 

Dimensions

As mentioned in my last post, I went on 2 preplanned trips during my stay with J-. One to Illinois to see my extended family, and one to Paso Robles to head to Sensorio with a subset of #baybrosandsistas. Both trips were quick and well needed. 

In Illinois, I got to see my grandparents, my aunt and uncle, both of my cousins and my cousin's daughter, my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and my niece and nephew. What a treat to be with all of them together! We played pop up baseball in the yard, chased fireflies, told stories, and we got to see my grandparents new place in assisted living. My grandparents say they don't like the place, but it seems pretty nice, and they have a lot of space. They also have these super light weight wheel walkers that are left at the door so residences can use them to get back and forth, and when my grandparents use the walkers instead of their canes, they go from being slow and wobbly to walking faster than me! 

About a week after I got back from Illinois, Alex, Jason, Jennifer, Cici, Tim, 3 dogs, and I headed off to Paso Robles for a little road trip. It was so hot there (114 degrees!), so we drove out to Pismo Beach during the day, and then had a very warm start to Sensorio that evening. Sensorio has grown and is as magical as ever! And, the warm start to the night led to the perfect temperature to enjoy the exhibit until it closed. Then, we headed back to our Airbnb to play a few games of Monikers which had us laughing until our stomachs hurt. 😂 Before heading back to the Bay, we got in a nice brunch, and a stop at Sculpterra to see the sculpture garden. 

There's nothing like a great time with family and friends to renew your faith in humanity. And, in this circumstance, it was also an important moment for me to realize how truly fortunate I am to be physically and mentally healthy, and to have people in my life who love and support me. ⚘

The eye of the storm

"The eye is a region of mostly calm weather at the center of a tropical cyclone."

We've had a situation in my building for the past few months. 

It began in March, with a new tenant's annoying angry rants on our building's digital message board, and then escalated in June with violent DMs -- which eventually led to police reports, restraining orders, and an arrest (that was separate from the incidents in our building!). What. A. Nightmare.

The ability for one person's misery, to spread misery throughout a community and beyond, is staggering. 

At one point, my anxiety was so high that I was fighting off panic attacks and crying at work. I eventually had to move myself and Epiphany in with J- to regain some sense of safety and balance and to remind myself that the world wasn't full of awful people. It took a couple of weeks and a couple of preplanned trips away for me to stop finding people who resembled this person triggering. 

I stayed with J- for a month total, during which time the tenant was arrested, and an unlawful detainer summons was served to move toward an eviction. 

We threw a little party on the roof to mark the day the eviction was to be made official, and to give the building a moment to come together to commiserate and celebrate. I returned to the building for the party and moved back into my place a week later. 

About a week after I moved back in, the notice to vacate was posted on the tenant's door making the eviction official.  

We believe all of this will be behind us soon but, in the course of the trauma it's caused, the board member and the landlord who were updating us have stopped communicating -- and, asking for updates has not been responded to well. 

The tenant has not returned to the building since the arrest. 

A few lessons learned, in case they're helpful: 

• Renting to the wrong person can be expensive, time consuming, and traumatic -- always do thorough background and reference checks
• If you can (I'm not a lawyer, so research will be needed to execute on this suggestion), add language to your lease stating that it can be terminated for not paying rent, harassment, criminal behavior, etc.
• A digital message board can reveal someone's mental health and criminal behavior
• Removing someone from a digital message board at the right time can be important for everyone's mental health
• You have to file police reports if you want the police to help
• There will be a point at which you'll wish you had filed them sooner so filing early is worth it, even though it may feel scary
• If you know someone could be a threat and you don't file a police report, you could be held liable for not reporting them if they hurt someone
• If someone is mentally ill, but hasn't shown aggression in person, it's best to treat them normally if you come face to face
• Acting upset may trigger them
• Thinking of them as a child throwing a tantrum might help
• Removing yourself from a situation for your own mental health is worth it
• It's easy to get caught up in fear, anger, and hate when you've been attacked 
• Finding ways to process and let go is critical
• Taking care of yourself and getting the right kind of support should be a priority

Epiphany_immacat

Epiphany, is a cat, and "a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something. An intuitive grasp. An illuminating discovery." Epiphany the cat, is epiphany. 

Follow epiphany_immacat on Instragram! She's a beautiful, extremely playful, very talkative little monkey button. ...and, she doesn't like to be called a monkey button... 😂

Vegas baby!

My friend Holly said that her uncle was a famous pop star in Taiwan and he was having a concert in Vegas in April. Her aunt decided to make it a family reunion of sorts and Holly was allowed to invite friends, so she invited me and her friend Clara! We stayed at the Wynn, were treated to the concert, some lovely lunches at Red 8, the Sphere Experience, and some late night delicious food at Wing Lei! We also got in some time at the pool, dinner at Casa Playa, a bit of gambling, the Neon Museum, a quick dip into Club XS, and a quick trip to the Taco Bell Cantina. :) 

Everything

I found this room in the upstairs corner of Saint Joseph's during a chaotic performance art event. The room was quiet. Isolating. Sad.

Ironic -- in that way I suppose it was meant to be. 

Back to Art

I've seen a lot of great art in the last month. 

First, I got to see a play I did fight work on called Bees & Honey. When my boyfriend asked me what it was about, I responded, "It's about a relationship, but it doesn't really matter what it's about because the actors are so great you can't stop watching them!". The actors in the show were fantastic and absolutely lovely to work with, and the show was about the ups and downs of a relationship. It was beautiful. We also had a great crew all around. I felt quite fortunate to be a part of it. 

Then, I watched American Fiction, which was hilarious, thought provoking, so meta, and so great... I haven't had a movie watching experience like that in a long time. :) 

There was also an epic karaoke night for Jessica's birthday, and a mostly missed but beautiful Chinese New Year parade, and then Flatstock 91. 

Flatstock 91 was this cool little exhibit of band poster art from around the world (? at least around the country. :) ) where visual art meets music marketing in little booths where artists display and talk about the work that they've done. What a unique and inspiring body of work! 

Then I got to see Big Data on stage at ACT. Big Data was topical and confrontational, and a show I will continue to think about for a long time because the ending wasn't clear haha. :) Or was it, and it's still sinking in... 

I got in a night with the Waters to see Wilder's all city band concert, and then Kooza! 

Kooza is the latest Cirque show touring the Bay and, like all tent shows, it had moments in it that completely blew my mind!! Wow, always a great night out. 

And, there was a super fun Oscar party / dance party, a yummy meal at San Ho Wan, an Oakland Roots game, and finally Dune, Part 2, which was very long, beautifully acted, and beautifully shot. 

Birthdays

Some years I throw a party. Most years I keep it simple (especially if I have a boyfriend who will spoil me a bit). My birthday this year was a sweet night out with J- where we ate too much spicy food and ended up with slight stomach aches. 😋😅 Along with dinner, he got me flowers and tickets for us to see MJ! 💖 I also had some small celebrations with other friends throughout the week and it was quite lovely all around. I'm really grateful for the people in my life who make an effort to make me feel special. ✨

And, then, we crashed my parents's vacation to celebrate my mom's 75th birthday! 

When I asked my mom what she wanted to do for her 75th, she said we could plan something for a couple weeks after because she'd be heading to Arizona. My parents take a 2 week vacation to Arizona with my aunt and uncle every year, and this year the vacation started on my mom's birthday. I decided to plot with my brother to see if we could manage crashing the vacation to celebrate with her on the day. Todd and Michelle said they could make it work and my aunt and uncle were thrilled by the idea, so we all headed to Arizona on flights that landed a few hours before my parents and surprised my mom when she arrived at the place they were staying. It was perfect, and a lovely impromptu family vacation for a couple days! My mom (and dad!) was very surprised and said it was her best birthday ever. Since it's been 75 years, I guess that means we did a good job. 😄

2023

2023 had love, transition, epic hikes, reconnections, great art, concerts, visitors, boundaries, transformation, challenges, scary moments, hilarious moments, great food, family, unexpected victories, friends, easy holidays, and one very silly cute cat. 😸

We were at a little restaurant in downtown. I had just congratulated a friend on her storefront opening and was taking a sip of soda when I heard a man's voice say aggressively, "Give me that." A man waiting to be seated with his girlfriend responded with a, "What?", and I looked over and saw a man with a mask and (what looked like) a small semi-automatic gun standing next to me. 

The gun looked like a toy. I could take it from him, I thought, but there was another man behind the man with the gun and I didn't know if he also had a gun. And, if I grabbed the gun and it went off, could I hurt someone? Was it too risky? 

The people who worked there took off running into the kitchen. I looked at the people at my table and in the rest of the restaurant -- everyone had frozen with their eyes cast down. I sat back slightly in my chair to feel the strap of my purse on my back and, as I did, the man with the gun looked at me, and said, "Give me that." as he took my purse. Then he took stuff from a couple more people, and then they left.

The girls at the table next to ours started crying. 

When chaos hits I tend to get really clear. I can feel the energy of what's going on around me, but, it's like, it doesn't touch me -- and, I start playing out scenarios quickly in my mind. I can see the path through to the end, and can usually do something about it without getting too rattled. And, then, exhaustion/emotion hits later. 

In this case, the endgame felt too dire for action, so later was full of emotion, anger, frustration... and, I couldn't stop replaying the moment of wanting to take the gun and then every possible outcome. The aftermath left me hyper vigilant, while anxiety started to grow in my chest until it hurt. 

I found out that people tend to have 2 reactions to this kind of story. 1. Wanting to know how I am. 2. Wanting to know every detail of the incident. Something I learned is when people need to know every detail, the replay becomes louder. Fortunately, my sister-in-law had a technique that helped me move through the trauma and break up the pain, allowing me to turn the volume back down and feel less on guard. 

Now, everywhere I go, the thought of getting robbed crosses my mind. 

Visits!

Katie and I were trying to get one final picture by the Bay at the end of her quick weekend visit. We sat on a rock (we had just seen a squirrel duck behind) and tried to focus the camera to catch a bit of the skyline of the city. Katie waved her hand in front the camera to trigger the shot, and right at that moment it felt like the squirrel started nipping at my ankle!! 😱😱😱🤣🤣🤣

Oh, man, this visit was full of adventures, from Hermes of Paris, to one of the weirdest shows we'd ever seen. It had laughter, music, shopping, and lots of my friends! 

The list 

• Stoa 
• Harold Ray - Matt's band
• Hermes of Paris
• Oliver People's
• Outerlands
• Ocean Beach 
• Cellarmaker - Brian and Teresa's goodbye
• Asaka Sushi 
• Cassette Roulette 
• Walking Epiphany by the Bay
• Cafe M 
• 4th St. 

A couple weeks before, Pam came to visit for a long weekend! I had been missing Pam time, and to have her all to myself (well, mostly) was such a gift! Pam is the kind of person who brings quality to things just by being there. 

The list

• Jack London Square / Plank
• Yin Ji Chang Fen - dim sum
• Potus at Berkeley Rep
• Dear San Francisco - Club Fugazi
• North Beach stroll 
• Stoa - w/ John! 
• The Castro Fountain
• Ted Lasso
• Cafe Réveille
• 4th St

It's been nice having the energy of friends in my place over the last couple of months!