My Sweet Grandma

My sweet grandma passed away on May 5th. She was 97 years old. This is the last picture I took with her with my niece a little less than a year ago. 

I don't know how to feel. I'm so sad, but also happy that she's no longer struggling through old age and getting hurt. I'm upset that I didn't get to spend more time with her, but I also feel like we had a really special relationship from the time we did spend together. 

I was always happy to see Grandma. I can't think of a time when she was ever truly mad, and she seemed to make everything feel better somehow. She always made me feel loved, sometimes just by sitting next to me.

I remember the time when we discovered that we both loved theater and us connecting over that in a different way than we had before. I remember when she told me to play things out with Aatman when no one else was very supportive (my relationship with him reminded me of her and Grandpa's). I remember when she laughed so hard at the Christmas when everyone hated their gifts (! haha), and the day I spent with just her and Grandpa and they told me about their lives when they were young and they had just had my mom. I remember walking her to the car in the last few years, and her body feeling so light, like I was walking a fragile bird. 

Even though it doesn't make sense, a part of me thought she'd always be around. It's hard to imagine life without her smile and her laugh, and how sometimes the look on her face would tell you everything you needed to know without her ever saying a word. 

With deep love and admiration, Grandma 🩵