Maui

I landed in Hawaii completely exhausted, and pretty sure I was about get sick (after going to Powell/Vegas/OSL, and then heading straight to Hawaii early Monday morning with no breaks in between).  I was heading into two days on Oahu with Stacey and friends, and then 5 days on Maui in a vacation rental with 9 people to celebrate Phuong and Huy's 5 year wedding anniversary. 

!!  Crazy, but so much fun.


Time on Oahu with Stacey was sweet and chill.  I felt like I got to relax and recover a bit -- but, that we also got some quality time:

Lunch, beach, shave ice with Cara
Dinner at Monkey Pod
Stand up paddle boarding in Waikiki
Lunch with Mike and Abigail
Ant-Man and the Wasp


Then, I was off to Maui to celebrate Phuong and Huy's 5 year anniversary!  I didn't know most of the people in the condo, but they were all lovely and it was really fun staying together.  The celebration was beautiful and delightful, and just a wonderful night all around.  I felt so honored to be a part of it. 

Here's some highlights from Maui:

Meeting Phuong and Huy's amazing friends and family
Staying at the condo with everyone
Boogie boarding in the ocean with Thu Mai and Steve
Pool games with Steve, Ben, Jenny
The anniversary celebration!
Taking all the polaroids
Spa day
Meditating with Steve and Thu Mai at the hotel
Clapping with Ethan
Face masks with Jenny and Tony
Red beach with Yuki
Finding the labyrinth
IAO Valley
Eskimo Candy
Nakalele Blowhole

OSL

I met Danny at the airport (me coming back from Powell/Vegas and he coming in from Chicago), and off we went!  We were both, separately, out way too late the night before but, if we didn't stop for a nap, we could still catch most of the performers on Friday -- which was the start to a very sweet, emotional, and ambitious weekend.

To be honest, the festival was kind of a blur (mostly due to borderline exhaustion, a few too many sips of beer, and a put put game in the middle of the festival that included a wine tasting.).  We went to all three days and saw so much music.  Here are the ones I remember in no particular order:

Beck

Janet Jackson

Future

Janel Monae

Jaime xx

Saltnpepa

Portugal. The Man

N.E.R.D.

Odesza

Big Gigantic

Knox Fortune

Beyond that, we did sleep a bit and had a few nice brunches, my favorite being Outerlands, for which I had a gift certificate, and for which the idea of actually kicked off Danny's extended stay last summer and our first Outside Lands.  

Outerlands describes itself as "Locally sourced, organic fare served in a warm, handcrafted setting."  The atmosphere is casual and classy, the food delicious, but the chairs left splinters in my legs.  Say no to wicker! 

Powell

I was invited to join an annual family and friends trip to Lake Powell for 8 days.  It was a trip full of beautiful canyons, jet skis, wake board surfing, cooking, hiking, and just hanging out together on the water and under the stars.

I wasn't sure what it would be like living on a boat with 11 people and 2 dogs for 8 days -- but, it was magical.


The moments:

All of the games with Kaleigh
Driving the boat
Learning about Jocko
Heads Up game starring Dan and Annette
Dan's recaps of what happened while we were gone
Getting to know all of the lovely Ermshars including Bella and Beau
Late night talks/songs under the stars with Kaleigh, Geoff, Patrici, Kendall, Cynthia, Stephen
Jet skiing through the narrows
Paddle boarding to the bat cave, and then quickly back to avoid the monster (beaver)
Paddle boarding in the dark of the night to see the reflections of the stars on the water
Climbing the anchor ropes with Kaleigh and Patrici
Hanging out in the hammock
Wakeboard surfing in the canyons
Discovering that Beau is god
Rainbow bridge
Patrici and Kendall's badass surfing
The return of Beau


The trip ended with a very full night in Vegas:

Michael Jackson One
Yummy sushi dinner
Pool party - Fetty Wap
Patrici pointing at me when the dj would ask who was celebrating a birthday - haha
Late night best room service ever

Hatched

"Decisions made without premeditation often lead to unforgettable experiences of a lifetime."

I read that quote in a Daily OM email sent to me recently.  Soon after, a friend of mine dragged me to watch the new Mama Mia movie -- which seemed to have the same message (and, was an unexpectedly awesome viewing experience. :) ).

Here are a few of my favorite un-premeditated decisions (in no particular order):

• Moving into the ghettos Oakland 
• Going to Costa Rica and Australia 
• Taking a surfing lesson
• Adopting The Luscious Frankie J
• Signing up for aerial classes
• Producing the first warehouse show
• Joining a soccer team
• Chasing the moon 

"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad." - C. S. Lewis

NOLA

A few months ago, my friend Jackie booked a trip to New Orleans.  She had planned to go by herself, but her mom suggested that she find a friend to go with her, and the only person she could think of who would maybe do that was me! :)

Getting to New Orleans was an adventure in itself -- a delinquent Lyft driver, the slowest security line agent, (and, as a result) a missed flight, a sketchy flight consolidation service, a left behind purse, and the loudest child in the waiting area ever.  Luckily for me, there are more Lyft drivers, people waiting in security lines are kind to people about to miss their flight, sketchy flight services don't know how to write down credit card numbers and you can book the flights they found for you much cheaper(!), a kind woman will wait for you to come back for the purse you left behind, and, when your seated next to the loudest child on the plane and his parent is across the aisle, the parent will give you his aisle seat for your middle seat so he can sit next to his child.

It was a challenging day, with many golden moments. :)

I arrived in NOLA about 5 hours later than planned but it worked out great!  The city was humid and alive with music, and I was so happy I made it!!

Here's the list (missing a couple of brunch places):

Bourbon O Bar
Airboat swamp tour
Wedding parade
Jackson square
Walking along the Mississippi River
Commander's Palace Restaurant
Frenchman St x 2
Art market x 2
Kayaking tour
Three Muses
The Spotted Cat
Cafe Du Monde at night!
NOLA sign
Walking Bourbon and Royle

On the airboat, we ended up sitting next to this guy who kept laughing at everything.  Jackie and I also tend to laugh at everything, so we enjoyed his company quite a bit.  After the tour, which was about an hour from where we were staying, we were thinking about how it would've been nice if we had kept in touch with that guy because we all got along so well.  We never asked him his name or anything about him, though, so we were pretty sure we'd never see him again.  We did both happen to capture a short video of his laughter.  :)

We went to dinner at Commander's Palace that night and, afterwards, I was standing next to our Lyft trying to get a photo of the restaurant sign.  When I turned around to get into the car, I noticed that the guy from our airboat was standing behind our Lyft!!  He started laughing as I ran up to him and Jackie got out of the car to join us.  We couldn't believe we found him!  We exchanged information.  Connected. :)

As we were driving away, Jackie started to explain what was going on to the Lyft driver.  He said, "Oh, that guy?  He was in my Lyft."  The Lyft was dropping him off at the restaurant when we booked our ride!  WUT?!

Our airboat friend lives in New York.  Jackie happens to be heading to New York in October... :) 

So many shows...

I haven't updated the shows since last June!  Here's most of them:

Bucko: Whaleman - challenging, incredibly performed
The Skivvies: Pride Rock - so much fun!  so much underwear!
Fallen Heroes, Rising Stars: A Juneteenth Celebration Through Dance - great cultural experience
A Night with Janis Joplin - where concert meets theatre exactly the right way
Andrew Bird (Mountain Winery) - delightful night under the stars
Splendour (Aurora) - beautiful performances, interesting considerations
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - technically amazing, a deep and physical look into autism
Matt Nathanson (Wente) - so fun!!  beautiful little outdoor stage
Hamlet (Phoenix) - fights looked really good!  show was great!
South Pacific - not a show i will probably ever see again
Shakespeare or Space Wars - take 2.  :) still great
Outsidelands: Gorillaz, Wild Horses, Vance Joy, Metallica, Empire of the Sun - filled with perfect moments and great love and great friends
Lady Gaga - great musician
Something Rotten - so much energy and hilarious
Shannon and the Clams - awesome girl band
Constellations - thoughtful work on perspective
Beach Blanket Babylon - with mom and dad!
Alicia Olatuja (SFJazz) - beautiful voice
JD McPherson and Nikki Lane - so much energy and fun
Elixir of Life - my humble return to the (park) stage
Paco de Lucia Project - MIND BLOWING
LCD Soundsystem - disco ball!!
SFIHHDF - still my favorite
Bright Star - was worth waiting for the end.  great performances
Snap Judgement - interesting smart night of storytelling
Norm Lewis (Feinstein's) - completely charming
Circus Veritas - defy gravity
Black Rider - standing the test of time and showing the tragic beauty of a broken heart
Aladdin - delightful!
Audible presents Fresh Voices with Becky Braunstein, Jesse Hett, Kenice Mobley, Joe Nguyen, Bret Reybould, Bethany Van Delft, Emily Winter and host Sean McKenzie / Doc's Lab - some of it was good. :)

We're No Doctors - really cute. 

Asian AF - kind of funny and kind of weird 

The JMJ Project: Proof of Life (Potrero Stage) - interesting ideas around how we represent ourselves.  i think.  

Thomas Dimuzio w/ Matt Waters (Center for New Music) - awesome!!
Brass Mafia - upbeat fun all day
What They Said About Love (Marsh) - love takes work
Tune-Yards - wow, so complex and confident
Skeleton Crew - touching, hopeful
Streetcar Named Desire - well performed
Glen Hansard - so much depth and emotion
Weightless - beautiful, inventive fable, exceptional muscians
Heisenberg - finding and defining love
Retolt.  She Said.  Revolt - soren was my favorite part
Hooded, or Being Black for Dummies - relevant, fun show with tough subject matter
Wolves (MTC) - teenage girls...
Alvvays, The Drums - loved the light work, loved the drums, alvvays were great
Amadeus (Davies) - live orchestra!
Jamiroquai - groovy
Head Over Heels - brilliant!
The Mystery of Love and Sex - really well done
Django Django - so great!
Vietgone - i loved everything about this show :)
Japandroids - fantastic drummer, super loud
Kendrick Lamar - we showed up twice, it was totally worth it
St. Vincent (WeWork party) - sexy
Editors - pretty good
David Henry Hwang & Jeanine Tesori - curran stage, inspiring
Flash Gordon Live - super cute and fun
The Mushroom Cure: A Psychedelic Journey - challenging audience, interesting look at ocd and a journey to relief

Cultivating joy

Brene Brown talks about the importance of cultivating joy as a way to conquer hard times.  A sort of "filling your cup" so that when bad things happen you have a well to draw from.

This idea made sense to me when I first heard it.  Do things that make you happy.  Sure.  I do that all the time!  I'm good at it.  I get it.  But, then, someone walked into YouTube with a gun and started shooting on a day when I was supposed to be there and, as I stood safely at my desk in Mountain View, shaking, on ping with the producer who was hiding under the desk in our front of house area, things began to clarify.

After a traumatic event, everything changes.  Sleep, dreams, your appetite, the news, people's casual comments about the news, the way you think about life, relationships, the chances you're so glad you took -- And, the things that truly fill your life with joy become very important.  You cling to them.  You counter every startling noise, every nightmare, every shaking fear soaked memory with all of the beauty you can muster.  You celebrate kindness, laughter, connection, life... and, you do your best to remember that things are okay most of the time.  You remember the joy because, without it, you might lose hope.

Bad things happen.  And, the only thing we can do when they happen is confront them.  Work through them.  And, in the meantime, do everything possible to fill our lives with as many good things as we can so we have a well of joy to draw from.

Moonlight at the Treehouse

Mark and I had been talking about doing a show at the Treehouse (the Treehouse is Mark's awesome house in the woods in Los Gatos) for years... but, work, and the challenges of the space, plus money and performers -- was making it into a puzzle in my head I was having trouble solving.  A dry run seemed like it might be worth it, but where would we start?  Would it be themed?  Would it be a party?  Would we bill it like a show?  Would we tell people about the performances, or let them discover things on their own?  Would it be frustrating to miss performances if we had a bunch of things happening at once?  There were a million questions.

My original idea was to create an evolved version of 8 with 8 performers for the night.  I wanted to find a strong piano player whose music we could route to different parts of the house, and then have collaborations happening with the piano music.  Dancers on the deck, another instrument out by the zen garden, a spoken word artist or a singer down in the bar in the basement...  The purpose was to create an environment of magical discovery with 4 connected performances at once, then some kind of break, and 4 more.

*countlesspossibilitypuzzlespin*

At the beginning of this year, Mark and I started talking again, and finally decided to just throw a party.  We'd make it a free for all open mic night to see if some of my vision might happen organically.  We gave it a loose theme -- a party under the moonlight (a full moon) at the treehouse on a Saturday night.  Perfect.

We invited a bunch of creative people, and people who like creative things, added some special touches (buttons, star garland, disco stars on the trees), made food, designed an invite, designated a DJ, and confirmed some people who would perform at some point.  We'd see how people moved about the space, how the different parts of the house would feel, if people would perform, and how people would respond to the performances.

The things that went well:

• We had a really nice turnout
• A great mix of mine and Mark's friends, and co-workers
• Everyone was well behaved
• The weather was great
• People performed who likely wouldn't have agreed to be booked on a show
• There were some really brave and lovely performances
• It was very in the moment 
• Since nothing specific was planned, we were all on the journey together
• Mark had great lighting around his house 
• The disco stars were magical 
• People told me they had a great time

The things that might need attention, if we do this again: 

• The different areas of the house felt isolated (which might make the original idea work well, but maybe wasn't ideal for this kind of party)
• People who'd been on the deck couldn't find us when we went downstairs for the performances.  
• Both the DJ and one of the committed performers had emergencies and weren't able to come last minute 
• Would have been good to have some backup plans
• Mark's place wasn't ready for a party when I arrived 
• Specific expectations or a plan around this would've been worth it.  I had to sweep all 3 decks and clean both bathrooms, aside from last minute party things.  Also, our tealight wayfinding didn't work that well before the sun went down.  Ha. 
• The food selection wasn't great
• We needed ice, more cups, and any kind of vegetable 
• I think it might've made sense to either curate the night more, or to not create performance expectations at all.  (Though I'm a bit torn on this point.  It was special having people choose to take the mic in the moment, which maybe wouldn't have happened if things had been more curated.)
• If the night was more curated, I think I would either go after my first idea full force and see what happens, OR would maybe make it much more of a curated kind of party... 
• If a party - acoustic performances scheduled in the living room, dance music outside on the deck, and maybe a free for all music setup (with no prior expectations) in the basement bar
• Planned technical support would be good for the sound system(s)
• The timeframe could've been shorter and the party probably could've started later (this would depend on what we're trying to accomplish)
• It would've been good to find ways to integrate people more 
• Moving furniture around, more connection points or things to connect over

At the end of the night, a friend of mine told me how much he enjoyed the night and appreciated what I do to keep things like this alive.

Update: 4/17

For the last couple of weeks, I haven't been able to shake the feeling that something was missing from our moonlit night.  Then, a few days ago, I was in a Lyft on the way to the airport and, as the driver and I were talking about our passions and career trajectories, we started talking about ei8ht.  During the conversation, I realized that a very important element in making ei8ht special was its mission to bring people together around local art while giving back to the community.  The show wasn't about me making money, or just entertainment, it was specifically about celebrating, supporting, and honoring local art, while also donating to positive community efforts -- in ei8ht's case, an important arts education and violence prevention program in Oakland.  In the background, it was a hope that some day I might use the experience on a resume, but I wasn't sure if anyone would take it seriously...

FEED YOUR SOUL

Weightless

* Photo exhibit at Z Space, SF

"Lift me up / sweep me to the sky
Broken heart / teach me how to fly
Clear away / shadows in my mind
And the changes in my blood
I can feel it turning round and round and round and round and round and round

Come to me / leave the world behind
Come to me / rise into the light
Come to me / falling out of time
Come to me / come to me / come to me

Follow you / anywhere you go
You're the one / place that I call home
Let the air / bless our hallow bones
And the changes in my blood
I can feel it turning round and round and round and round and round and round

Come to me / leave the world behind
Come to me / rise into the light
Come to me / falling out of time
Come to me / come to me / come to me"

- Life Me Up from Weightless by The Kilbanes
https://thekilbanes.bandcamp.com/track/lift-me-up

One tribe

I was sitting in a movie theater in Walnut Creek on opening weekend and, when Oakland flashed on the screen, I reactively let out a solid "YAYEAH" that echoed through the crowd and made me realize that I NEEDED TO BE WATCHING THIS IN OAKLAND.

So, the next weekend I went to see it again in Oakland.  :)

Black Panther had Oakland, South Korea, an El Dorado reference (the street I live on), a lot of fighting, a true hero, strong women, a complex villain, a rich story, and a great message.  It was like they made the movie for me.  I mean, I'm sure they completely had me in mind when they were creating this AMAZING FILM!!

I'm so proud of Marvel, and Disney, and Ryan Coogler, and art for making such a profound cultural impact in this moment when we're obsessed with super heros and we need great role models and we need for black lives to matter.

I'm inspired.  I'm invigorated.  I'm excited for badass entertainment laced with hope.

One tribe.

Command the ocean!

My friend Huy texted, "Sort of random.  Want to go there maui 18-21?"  I think "there" was supposed to be "to".  I responded, "Hmmm, I do want to go!"

A couple of days later, I had a plane ticket and a plan to spend 3 and 1/2 days on Maui with Huy, Phuong, and baby Ethan, and 3 days on Oahu with Stacey and Todd!  The trip happened to fall over my birthday, and turned out to be the best way to start my new year.  :)


Maui 
Star Noodle
Lahaina - town
Ululani's Hawaiian Shave Ice
Montage Kapalua Bay
Snorkeling
Aloha Mixed Plate
Pool at Montage
Walking along the beach in Lahaina
Japengo - birthday dinner
Meditation on the balcony
Beach at Kapalua Bay
Ohana Tacos
Ululani's Hawaiian Shave Ice
Lahaina - town - Banyan Tree
Walking the rock pier in the rain
Honu
Lahaina - town
Meditation on the balcony again
Nakalele Point - blow hole
Star Noodle again
Art fair
(Huy also made me an amazing breakfast every day)


Mokulele tiny plane flight over to Oahu

Oahu
Simple Joy Vegetarian
Stacey's oatmeal breakfast
Surf n' Sea paddle boarding - Haleiwa
The Beet Box Cafe
Matsumoto Shave Ice
Nico's w/ Mark, Patricia, Caden - birthday dinner, actual day
Birthday cake!
Leonard's - malasadas
Hanauma Bay crazy ridge hike
Musubi Cafe IYASUME  

Surfing with Mike, Waikiki Beach 

Alohilani Resort Waikiki Beach - shower and serenade 

Baikohken - Waikiki Yokocho Gourmet Alley 

Everybody clap - Bboys :) 

Tea Boss

Zippy's w/ Cara

Walking Waikiki Beach 

Heavenly Island Lifestyle - lunch

Phuong and Huy completely spoiled me by letting me stay in their beautiful vacation rental, taking me to great food, showing me great views, and letting me hangout with little baby Ethan!  It was relaxing and beautiful, and what a wonderful family to travel with. :) 

The tiny plane flight was terrifying and the most amazing flight I've ever taken.  

Stacey surprised me with balloons and a cake first thing in the morning on my birthday!  And, then she and Todd continued to spoil me ALL DAY.  :)  It was so nice to see them and hangout, and paddle boarding was so fun!!  

Surfing in Hawaii was much harder than Costa Rica, but I did get up once, and it was great hanging out with Mike again!  The hike Mike sent me on around Hanauma Bay was gorgeous and dangerous, and made me feel like I was in a Murakami novel. :) 

I'm glad I got to see Mark, Patricia, Caden, and Cara, and that I got to have such an amazing trip with so many people that I love.  

💛

Zion

The holidays were rich.  Complex.  Hard.  Delightful.  They were full of wonder, family, great friends, dreamy views, sweet connections, emotional conversations, and sleep.

I was in Colorado with my family for Christmas, and was invited to a last minute trip to Zion/Bryce Canyon with a bunch of girls for New Years. 

Tell me what you know about dreaming...

I dreamt I was in an apartment with a bunch of friends waiting to go out.  The apartment, and everything in it, was completely white.  I was sitting in a chair at a table, and one of my ex-boyfriends kept embracing me in a way that felt like he was trying to make things right again.  To my left was the top of a stairwell and, just past it, I could see flocks of beautiful paper birds flying in these gorgeous, sweeping patterns.  There wasn't a roof on the apartment, so when I went to look at the birds, it was like I was standing at a lookout point.  My hair was held back in a perfect braid, and I felt elated.  My friends started calling for me to come out with them, and when I moved to join them, I woke up. 

This last month has been super charged with transition, and an attempt to fix all of the things that broke the month before.  It's been intense.  But, regardless of it's challenges, it's become very clear to me that my life is full of delightful moments.  I am so grateful that I have such wonderful friends, that I've seen game changing art and performances, that I'm learning new things, have reconnected with people I've been missing, and that I don't find myself feeling at a loss for anything that I need.  

I. Am. So. Very. Blessed.   

...though, I do still have some wishes lingering out there...  ;) 

Rose colored glasses

“You know how everyone’s always saying seize the moment?” she asks. “I don’t know, I’m kind of thinking it’s the other way around, you know, like the moment seizes us.” - Boyhood

  

A couple of days ago, I had the opportunity to work with a spoken word artist and famous hip hop dancers to produce an inspiring show about taking risks and letting go.

On Halloween, one of my friends was convinced that a guy in the bar had done the best "Steve Jobs", but the rest of us were pretty sure that guy hadn't actually dressed up.  :)

Last night, the makeshift contraption (intended to protect my room from a leaky ceiling until the roof is fixed) started leaking...so, I stood on a tarp on my bed, holding duct taped plastic and a funnel, trying to catch water for about an hour and a half until the rain stopped.

I'm performing in a show that travels to public parks, which means cute dogs spontaneously join us for our scenes.  

I recently received a confusing and unwanted goodbye that broke my heart. 

I put on my rose colored glasses and do my best to remember:  that I am surrounded by amazing opportunities for art and inspiration in my life, there's humor everywhere, I'm strong enough to hold things together even when everything seems like it's falling apart, there's a reason why dogs always steal the show, and a broken heart means that there was love... 

The moment seizes us.