Year of the Tiger

According to the newly single kitten-like body builder guy (that's how he was described to me by his friend) who gave me a free ticket into the club (before we actually knew we were there with the same group), this was a burning man crowd.

There was a parade in the middle of the club at midnight, complete with ... do they call this a dragon dance?

DJs, costumes, buddas, performances... I was offered drugs on the dance floor. Ah, San Francisco... :)

Happy New Year! According to the Chinese zodiac, I'm a Tiger. One of my Chinese friends told me that means this year is supposed to be rough... Great... I guess I'm right on track.

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Rain

I was doing so well, and then the rain started up again. 

Today a guy I work with came up to me to see if I was okay.  I could tell by the way he was asking that he knew, even though I didn't tell him.  I thought I could hold it together, but when he actually said he knew and that he was sorry, my eyes welled up with tears...  It was late, so not a lot of people were there, but I still didn't want to cry in the middle of the office.  I told him I didn't want to talk about it there and went to the bathroom to try to pull myself together.  He waited for me outside the bathroom so he could apologize for making me cry.  I told him it was okay, but I didn't want to talk about it.  He then kept apologizing and told me who told him and on and on... until finally I had to get upset and sternly say, "I don't want to talk about it here.". !!  Seriously?!  What the hell is wrong with people??  This isn't the only instance of stupidity I've had to deal with this week... It's fascinating how insensitive people can be when trying to be sensitive.  However, that did help me stop crying.

On the flip side, a very good friend of mine has surprised me with an incredibly generous gift and is sending me a bed.  I'll still have to get a mattress, but it'll be the first real adult furniture I'll own.  A bed... with legs, a head board, and a ..base board (is that what you call the board by your feet)?  It's like gateway furniture to no longer living like a college student, which is well overdue. 

I'm still grateful for all of the people in my life.  Even the stupid ones... 

Cirque du Soleil

Thank you, Michael. 

*sigh*

The light makes all the difference... It feels really good to be in a place where I love the light.

My friends completely came to my rescue this weekend. As I was floundering around in my emotions, they took charge and made sure I was okay and moving forward. I seriously can't thank them enough. Maureen, Michael, Roland...my heroes.

And now... what?

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This used to be a Funhouse...

...but now it's full of evil clowns. - Pink

I've been playing Pink's latest album on repeat. Apparently, she also went through a break up...and then poured everything she got from it into Funhouse.

I'm moving (again) tomorrow.

It's been raining for the past two weeks -- like my emotions have somehow manifested in the weather. I can't believe how fast things are changing...

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"...as my whole world shifts and locks into place..."

I love this picture. :)

I turned 35 on Friday. Some of my favorite people came to hang out with me, and then a few more of my favorites met me later at a bar. I had a goal to make it through the entire day without crying... I didn't really accomplish my goal, but I did manage to have quite an exceptional day regardless.

It seems like months have gone by, but it's only been a little over a week...

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Upside down

This is my amazing friend Michael who's been saving me from myself...

Josh, the wonderful boyfriend i've been with for the last ... well, creeping up on 4 years ... has admitted that he's not sure what he wants for his future and, where we have a lot of fun together and really care about each other, he's not sure it's right to stay together and keep me from the future I hope to have... so, he's doing his best to make a mature decision for us and has decided it's time to break up. As much as I love him and wanted so much for this to work, I have to respect that decision and know that he's just wanting to do the right thing.

My heart is breaking, but a part of me knows he's right.

So, my friend Michael has been taking care of me and has been the best kind of friend you could possibly have.

I'm so sad... but, so lucky to have (had) a boy who loves me enough to let me go... And a friend who is willing to be there to pick up all of the pieces... A lot of friends, actually, who have reached out to show their love and support. I'm so grateful for the people in my life.

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Segway!

The company I work for purchased a private tour for some Japanese clients coming to town but, when the clients arrived, they had plans of their own. The tour had already been paid for with no refunds, so I got to take 6 random people on a private Segway tour. We had one guy drop out at the last minute, so I brought Josh along to fill the spot.

Segway is super dorky, and way more fun to ride then you could possibly imagine.

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Colorado Springs

This is the smallest bar in the world. It's literally as big as it looks in this picture. I think maybe 6 people can fit in there comfortably.

Colorado Springs keeps getting bigger and bigger, but seems smaller and smaller everytime I come home. I think it's the small town attitude that makes it feel that way, and the way everything tends to look the same... Even the new developments -- track housing on repeat... People dress the same too, like they always have and like each other. And, anything "out of the ordinary" stands out and is pointed out. I've stopped trying to fit in here. Actually, I've never been good at trying to fit in here...

The mountains are always peaceful and beautiful.

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Brunch, hackers, theater, and goodbyes...

What a freaking long day...

It started off great. Brunch with our good friend Roland at a nice French bistro. The weather was nice, food was great, and Roland is always good company.

Next, we're driving home and Josh goes to login to email from his phone to find that his password isn't working. Yup - HACKED. His paypal was hacked a few days ago as well. We spent the afternoon talking to customer service reps, changing passwords, and trying to not freak out... It's scary to think about how much information lives in your email.

We were able to recover his email in just a few hours luckily, just in time to hightail it over to the city for a show. We had tickets to the Exit tonight with Steph.

As soon as the show ended, we headed off to a well deserved dinner in the Mission. Then we took Stephanie home and said goodbye. Steph leaves for Montreal on Monday... :(

I'm exhausted.

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Avatar

Haha -- we kept trying to take pictures of us smiling, but they all looked cheesy... :D

Stephanie's only here for a few more days, so we're trying to get in as much fun in as possible before she heads to Montreal.

Tonight we went to see Avatar in 3d. It followed the epic movie formula closely...but, I have to say, it did it quite well. The result was a very satisfying, visually spectacular film.

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Opening night, again.

We opened tonight and close again tomorrow night. A quick return to the stage.

I still love this little show and all of its little parts.

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Back in rehearsals

We're bringing the Halloween show we did in October (about the little girl who turns into a warewolf) back to the stage for two more shows in December. We'll be playing in a small theater in Union Square this time.

This pic was taken by Scott while he was terrorizing me.

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Thanksgiving

I moved to California just before Thanksgiving in the year 2000.

After years of the same suburban Thanksgiving on repeat, full of family, friends and feast, it was a very different experience for me to head from my house in the ghetto to another house in the ghetto to celebrate my first Oakland Thanksgiving with a guy my roommate barely knew. We drove through vacant dusty streets with...was it macaroni Matt made to contribute to the dinner?

We actually had a big Thanksgiving feast that day...and then sat around listening to each other tell stories and play the guitar while everyone got high (besides me). When the hosts locked themselves in the bathroom for about an hour, in what appeared to be an effort to resolve an argument, we decided to leave.

The Thanksgivings between then and now have varied greatly, from a lonely diner meal, to a drive up the coast, to Josh and I trying to make our own dinner, to finding ourselves with a wonderful group of friends...

This Thanksgiving was spent with part of Josh's family in Temple City, CA. Turkey, tostada salad, Chinese rice, shrimp, squid, mashed potatoes, and a giant squash like vegetable from the neighbor's yard made up our feast. It was an incredibly random assortment of goodness.

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