Path through the pandemic

We're in week 12 of Shelter in Place, and I have to admit that, overall, it hasn't been as bad as I would've imagined... mostly due to hanging out with this guy and finding ways to escape. 

Don't get me wrong, it also hasn't been easy. I've had moments of panic and loneliness and probably a bit of depression...  My sleep schedule has been all over the place and eating has felt like a constant challenge. And, as of this past week, layer on the rise of (true?) awareness of racial injustice and the heartbreaking incredible pain that black people (friends) have expressed about how hard it is to live their lives in America. ...and, all to the soundtrack from my open window of helicopters, sirens, and shots being fired. 

But, there are still things to be grateful for. And, we can't forget them, or get through this without them. 

I am grateful for: still having an active job in events at a relevant company, a great guy to hangout with, a safe place to live with food and water, access to entertainment and abundant nature, my family and friends that are all safe and physically healthy, being physically healthy and able to stay active, my cat, ways to connect even when we have to be apart, an opportunity to learn new things, and for the hope that when we come out on the other side of this we all might be better people. 

Wishing you health, safety, and love. 

Together

For starters, I'm not one to make big statements on social issues or to get into political arguments. I tend to listen, ask questions, try to make impactful choices, and donate to causes that I care about. I will speak up when I feel safe and, when I do, I try to reference personal experiences.

But, lately I've found myself struggling with the incredible, partially informed, giant division happening in the country, in friend circles, in families....

I was talking with someone the other night about how an alien attack on the planet might be the only way to bring us back together. But, it would have to be a big, horrible attack so you wouldn't have to deal with people siding with the aliens. ....as I'm writing this, I'm realizing there would definitely be people siding with the aliens....

Anyway. What am I trying to say...

Being a person with Korean genes, a white middle-class upbringing, a decent enough education, a creative mind, a sense of humor, a bit of swag, and a high tolerance for different kinds of people; I feel like I can go just about anywhere and, as a result, I manage to get myself into situations/conversations with a wide sample of people. It feels like an opportunity to really see people. To understand them. To realize how we are different -- but, also the same. And how we're in this together, regardless. And, I think about if there are ways that could make everyone see it that way...? An alien attack.... ?

I guess what I'm trying to say is there's value in finding ways to connect with people who aren't like you. To not unfriend everyone who doesn't think just like you. Because, there is magic in finding the spaces where we connect instead of the spaces where we are different.
~~~

The above was drafted before the coronavirus hit. Could that be the alien?

Angel, well, not yet...

On Friday, January 31st, I was feeling really anxious about all of the projects I've gotten myself involved in so far this year.

"Do you ever feel like you're dying?"
I was in one of our production spaces talking to Ian.
"We're all dying."
"Do you ever feel like you're dying soon?"

He laughed for a very long time after that, acted awkward about giving me a hug after I had just hugged most of the crew, and left.

A day later, I got on a plane to Colorado to spend the weekend with my family.

It was my mom's birthday, so we headed to the Broadmoor to celebrate. The Broadmoor is a fancy hotel located at the edge of the city right at the base of the mountains. We went to the dessert shop, walked the lake, and played on a jungle gym for a while before heading to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant in the hotel.

After dinner, I got up to leave and everything started to go dark. My vision blacked out, my hearing went silent, and I was pretty sure I was going to fall. I lowered myself back to the table to breathe. After a few minutes, my sister-in-law tried to help me to the restroom, but I collapsed about halfway there, still conscious, but too dizzy to move.

As I sat on the floor, I thought to myself, this is it... I'm going to die right here in the middle of this restaurant in front of my family. And, when Ian finds out, he'll realize that I predicted this two days ago at work.

An ambulance ride and 2 bags of fluids later, I was diagnosed with severe dehydration due to travel, the altitude, a glass of wine, and not drinking enough water throughout the day, and was sent home to rest and rehydrate.

I saw Ian 2 days after returning to work and told him the story. He laughed again (and kind of cried? It was a laugh/cry?) while repeating, "it's not funny, it's not funny".

It was a little funny? 😉

2019

Getting to the end of 2019 was a journey. Kind of a marathon, really. Lots of friends, lots of art, lots of holidays...

I did my best to skip Halloween this year (mostly). It's not my favorite holiday, and I only really like dressing up if I have a good costume -- which I don't like putting effort into. I usually try to do something anyway, even if I don't dress up, but this year I made a conscious effort to skip it -- and, then ended up at a gathering on Halloween night anyway (but, it was really more of just a hangout). :)

Then, I managed to attend like 5 Thanksgivings. They were all full of great friends, new friends, and old friends, and were all delightful. :)

Christmas was in Illinois with my extended family. We were supposed to caravan up to Michigan to spend it at my cousin's place, but her daughter got sick, so we stayed in Illinois. It was quiet and simple, and especially lovely to be with my grandparents this year.

And then I went straight into a challenging, yet fun and successful, New Years with a friend in LA. We went from a bad Airbnb to a great hotel, to a supposed Yacht party that ended up being a strange (but fun) Ferry ride, and ended with some good museum time and a very cool virtual reality arcade.

I reconnected, got inspired, injured myself in aerial class, learned new things about me... and, now here we are in 2020. :)

Free Hugs for a Dollar

I love New York. But, it's the kind of love that feels like it could suffocate me, even though it's so full of energy and fantasy and romance... *sigh*

Stacy (a new friend I met last year in Paris with my good friend Mel) invited me to her very special birthday party in New York City, so I booked an Airbnb in New Jersey and I went.

Staying in New Jersey was a bit of a trek to everything in the city, but it was easier on my budget, beautiful, stylish, spacious, comfortable, and it was in New Jersey and I loved it! When I was a kid, I was fascinated by New Jersey because a friend of mine had taught me how to "speak with a New Jersey accent" and, as a result, I became obsessed with the idea of this magical place where everyone talked so cool. :)

Here are the things:

Breakfast at Bluestone Lane
Walking the waterfront of New Jersey
Zen Ramen and Sushi
Moulin Rouge
Enna Bakery
Timothy "Speed" Levitch sighting
Jack’s Wife Freda West Village w/ Mel, David, Jeffrey (MDJ)
Museum of Arts and Design w/ MDJ
Anna Sui exhibit w/ MDJ
New York City Library for a minute
Bryant Park
Mexicue
Hadestown w/ Mel, David, Jeffrey, Stacy (MDJS)
Momofuku Ssam w/ MDJ - I think this was the most incredible meal I've ever had.
Katz Deli w/ MDJS
Walking the Highline w/ MDJS
The Vessel w/ MDJ
Hudson Yards w/ MDJS
Mercado Little Spain and the foosball table table w/ MDJS - kicked David's butt in foosball. ;)
UCB with Allison
Buvette w/ Mel and Tony
The Whitney w/ Mel
Pangea - Stacy's birthday party!

Before I met up with Mel, David, and Jeffrey at Jack's Wife Freda, they had hugged a guy with a sign that said "free hugs". The guy then requested a donation of a dollar for charity, making it not really seem like a free hug. From that moment to the end of the trip, David and I were "workshopping" a new show we wanted to produce called Free Hugs for a Dollar, that was mostly improv and explanation, and that would be narrated by David on stage when it was ready to be performed for reals. ;) Haha

I had so much fun hanging out with Mel/David/Jeffrey/and sometimes Stacy, I got to see Allison, I got to see Tony, and Stacy birthday party was absolutely magical. 💖

I'm am so very fortunate.

Till next time New York... 

Grandma's 92nd birthday!

My brother had a conference in Chicago, so my sister-in-law, the kiddos, me, and my mom decided to meet in Illinois for the weekend after the conference to spend some time with my brother and our extended family in Joliet; and, it happened to be on the weekend of my beautiful Grandma's 92nd birthday! :)

Gualalalala

For Labor Day weekend we decided to escape to this little town up the coast called Gualala. We got a cabin, brought a bunch of food, hiked, hung out on the beach, had some epic meals, relaxed, and went up to Point Arena to meet this gorgeous giraffe.

#baybrosandsistas

Powell (take 2)

My second trip to Lake Powell started out in Napa with Kendall and Patrici at the Rodrigo y Gabriela concert. I had been wanting to see Rodrigo y Gabriela live for so long -- and, they were perfection!! They played on a charming little outdoor stage at the Mondavi winery.

Such a beautiful start to the vacation!

Then we spent a day in Calistoga checking out Kendall's new hotel, riding bikes through the vineyards, and listening to flamenco guitar music on the patio. Sigh... :)

We left for Powell a bit later than expected, getting us to Vegas for a few hours of sleep before we hauled ass to Antelope Canyon to barely make a 4:30pm tour. TOTALLY WORTH IT! Antelope Canyon was gorgeous!! And, close to our launching site at Powell. :) Afterwards, we finally had Navajo tacos (something Patrici had been wanting to try since the last trip!)!

A loaded and wonderful few days before we even got on the houseboat!

When we finally got to the marina at Lake Powell, it was me, Kendall, Patrici, and Kaleigh. The rest of the crew was scheduled to arrive the next day, which meant I was the best candidate to help launch the speedboat. Basically, that meant I would drive the truck with the trailer back to the parking lot once the boat was in the water. Piece of cake, right? Until I got slightly lost and then hit a jeep with the trailer (well, I really just hit wheels, so no biggie, right?) and yeah. All real harm was averted. 😬

But THEN, I fell off of the houseboat.

It was nighttime, and I was on the back of the boat and wanted to get to the front of the boat. I went to step on the dock and missed, falling with one leg into the water and the other leg sprawled across the grated concrete leaving me with a pretty scraped up foot. UGH! Kendall patched me up with iodine and bandages and, thank goodness, it turned out to be very manageable. !

The rest of the trip was full of all the things. :) We had 17 people on the houseboat this year, including 2 kiddos and 1 baby.

Here are the moments:

Meeting all of the lovely Iskanders
Brennen and Layla's adorable "New York accents" ;)
Brainstorming ideas for Annette's book
Rain, lightning, waterfalls
Discovering that Dan and I DO like some of the same songs :)
The Moki Steps hike
Stephen going home early :P
Dan's wine
Kaleigh, Patrici, and I's stage combat performance
Wakeboard surfing progress
Getting to know Arlene
Face mask night!
Swimming the narrows with Kaleigh, Dan, and Danny
The beautiful rainbow bridge canyon jet ski ride
The "I don't wanna go flat!" song evolved from Crossy Roads saying "going flat" vs "dying" :)
The ever eventful hotdog/jumbo dog ride(s)

On the road

I've been trying to explore new things this year. New conversations with interesting people, new challenges at work, new creative projects with friends, new relationships, new boundaries...  It's been busy, scary, invigorating, and slightly overwhelming at times. :)

Here are a few highlights:

L.A.
I've found opportunities to head to L.A. with work in the last few months and it's felt like I've been working in the Spider-Verse. I've been working in new spaces and with new teams, but it all feels very familiar. :) It's been great for connection, inspiration, and growth, and continues to remind me of how fortunate I am to work for such an amazing company.

Maria
My friend Maria is an incredible singer/songwriter and I've fallen into managing her because I believe in her so much, and because she does (most of) what I say. ;) It's turning into a great partnership, with her talent and my ability to move things into action, and we're just getting started!

Leaders
I've made it a point to talk to leaders who are accessible to me, and to do my best to build a relationship of some kind with them. I'm hoping to find new pathways, and I'm getting to know some exceptional people in the meantime.

Relationships (friendships)
There are so many people in my life right now that it's a bit hard to manage, but it's rich and diverse, and I'm finding boundaries where necessary, and I'm so very grateful.

I guess sometimes you have to just get on the road, even if you're not sure where it's going.

The shows

May 24, 2018 - May 19, 2019

Modest Mouse - not great sound... which was a bummer.
The Humans - lots of talking for a subtle message at the end.
A Walk on the Moon - a sweet, late, coming of age story.
Flying Lotus/Little Dragon - an unexpected adventure.  How did we ever get home... :)
Soft Power - creative, impactful, thought provoking, magical.
The Miracle Worker - wonderfully performed.  A timeless and inspiring story.
Gomez - Mel's favorite band, and for a reason.
School of Rock - energizing!  Very entertaining.
Jake Shimabukuro - always an impressive performance.  Music that hits your soul.
Boys II Men - Google concert.  Nostalgic.
Smashing Pumpkins - super nostalgic and kind of dreamy.
Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever - fun, energetic.
Sara Bareilles - an inspirational talk and a heartfelt short performance.
Jason Mraz - fun.
Lauryn Hill - a concert I've been waiting for for YEARS, and it was SO WORTH IT!!
Oh Sees - so much energy and so much fun!
Sweat - I can't remember how I felt about this one... but, the fights were pretty cool.
On Your Feet - delightful in a way I didn't expect.
Ani DiFranco at Hardly Strictly - Ani DiFranco for free in the park was lovely.
You Mean To Do Me Harm - thought provoking, well performed.
Sofar Sounds concert - intimate concert, local artist, great experience.
Seen/By Everyone - had some interesting things to say about social media.
Men on Boats - well performed, interesting take on early pioneers from a female perspective.
Christine + The Queens - so much charisma!  Theatrical, fun.
Soiled Dove - great performances, fun circus!
Waitress - I liked it, but it didn't blow me away like I thought it would.
Kjartansson "Romantic Songs of the Patriarchy" - interesting.
Volta - had an act that COMPLETELY BLEW MY MIND.  I also got to work with the "skippers" at Google which was a blast, and we had a lovely moment after one of their shows as a result.
SFIHHDF - still one of the best shows in town. :)
Cardboard Piano - beautifully performed, and the fights worked!
A Bronx Tale - I wanted to like this, but the story fell a bit short.
Dear Evan Hansen - wonderful, heartfelt, delightful and then so honest with so much growth.
Ice on Ice - um... what was this about... ??  But, super fun night with Fan and Joan.
Come From Away - incredible look at a community that came to the rescue of stranded passengers from flights that were re-routed on 9/11.  Lovely.  Delightful.  Inspiring.
Seascape - an interesting look at humanity and evolution from the perspective of lizards.
Words that Move - spoken word story performances.
Paradise Square - I wanted more from this, though it was wonderfully performed.
Late Company - great performances, impactful story.
Metamorphoses - beautiful, fun, touching, creative, heartfelt...
Gryphon Trio - complex
TILT - fun
La Ronde - enjoyable in a way I didn't expect.  An interesting exploration of intimacy.
Jose Gonzalez + The String Theory - the conductor was amazing, the music complex and wonderful.
Yoga Play - the acting wasn't strong, but it had some nice messages and good humor in the second half.
Home - magical, interesting exploration of life in a home and whatever that means.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - great performances, and they pulled kids apart on stage. !!
Oakhella - a community coming together around music and art.
Airbnb Design-Talks: Julia Bullock - an interesting talk and art installation and an incredible display of humanity and process.
Mutek - visual, interesting, an inspiring night out with Rika and friends.
Latino Comedy showcase - not all Latino... and, only partly funny. :)
Weightless - exquisite, touching, elating.
The Jungle - didn't love it... felt rushed and hard to process.
Importance of Being Earnest - delightful performances, really sweet and funny.
The Dandy Warhols - bad sound, groovy

Soft Power

Last year, I saw a musical called Soft Power.  Twice.  

Soft Power - noun

1. a persuasive approach to international relations, typically involving the use of economic or cultural influence.

Soft Power, the musical, was about the 2016 election... but, what it was really about was the power of art and culture, and how easily we're influenced into belief systems without thinking twice about them.  And, how much power that holds.  And, how maybe it could change everything if done right.  

And, then, all of these amazing movies hit the screen. 

Design

Design done well is delightful.

It's: sweet moments, a feeling, an ease, a surprise, a perfect view. It's the process of making magic for others to discover.  

The dishwasher

Once upon at time I met a dishwasher.

I was in a bar in Old Colorado City one night, and a friend of a friend's new husband asked me what I did.  I said I was an Account Executive for VoiceSteam Wireless, which I thought sounded really important because it had the word "executive" in the title.  He asked me if I liked it.  The question surprised me, so I said something quick like, I guess it's okay -- why, what do you do?  I'm a dishwasher, he replied.  I asked if he liked it.  He said that he loved it.

He used to work 70 hours a week in tech with more money than he knew what to do with.  One day, his boss called him into his office and offered him more money for more of his time.  He was valued by the company, stressed out, and never saw the people that he loved so, instead of taking the offer, he quit his job and took a job as a dishwasher.  As a dishwasher he would go to work, get paid enough to survive (granted this was in Colorado Springs a million years ago), and then go home and spend time with the people that he loved.  And, he was so happy. :)

Not long after I met the dishwasher, I quit my job, packed up my bags and my inspiration, and moved to the Bay Area.

My parents' 50th wedding anniversary

They didn't want a party, so we booked a vacation rental in the mountains for a few days and then a special dinner back in the Springs on the night of their actual anniversary.  Then, we secretly invited friends and family to be a part of the celebration by asking them to send along their wishes....  💖