Blue Moon

So, I'm in this bar called Wasted Grain (not on the night's agenda, although neither were the 2am tacos that followed), and this guy walks up and says, "Hey, can I buy you a drink?"  I tell him that I'm done drinking for the night, but he insists -- especially after the girls announce to him that I'm single AND it's my birthday.  I tell him that he can buy me a soda.  Straight.  "Vodka soda" he says to the bartender....  

We cheers.  I take a sip, and immediately hand the drink off to the bachelorette because, as I mentioned, I'm done drinking for the night.  

He asks me where I'm from and what I do.  I tell him that I live in the Bay Area and I'm an event producer at Google.  He says that he has family in the Bay, seems impressed that I work at Google, and says that I have really good energy.  He's from Chicago, works in tech sales, and seems sweet and young.

When he asks me how my day was, I tell him that it was great and I give him a brief description of the day's adventures.  I ask him about his day, and there's a quiet moment, and then he tells me that his dog died that day.  I say that I'm so sorry and, as his eyes well up a bit, he says, "Don't cry, because if you cry I'll cry".  We stand there solemnly -- and, in this moment, I already know that I like him.  

I start to think about how we just met and we're standing in a bar about to cry, and it makes me giggle -- which brings a smile back to his face.  

We continue to talk and flirt, and at some point he says, "Give me your number."  I say no.  He says, "Why not?".  I say, "Because you live in Chicago."  He clarifies, "No, I'm from Chicago, but I live here."  So, I reply with my new reason which is, "You live here."  He smiles and reminds me, "But, I have family in the Bay."  

I ask how old he is and he says, "Why does that matter?".  "Because I'm 42".  He doesn't care.  My inner monolog emerges in verbal spillage, "Now, see, it's this conversation that gets me here every time.  You don't care cause it doesn't matter, but then it does matter, and by then it's too late...".  He shakes his head and interrupts me with "What -- you're thinking too much!  I just want to see you again...".  

Perfect.  Dammit. 

I take a snapchat of the two of us together and he manages to grab my snapcode. 

He says, "Why am I so drawn to you?  I can't get enough of you.".  

💞

...I blow him a kiss as a golf cart pulls us back into the night...

But thy eternal summer shall not fade...

A weekend of celebration, adventures, and many favorite things... :)

Swan's market

Champagne and popcorn

Big Hero 6

Aina

Ocean Beach - Corgi con 

Bath ruins

Tiled Steps - view from the top

Piccolo Forno

North Beach festival - City Lights Bookstore

Bucko: Whaleman

Piccino 

Treasure Island

Inn Kensington 

Grizzly Peak 

Ferry to SF

Ferry building 

Walking the Embarcadero

Fisherman's Wharf

Miette 

Recchiuti

Ferry to Oakland 

Everett & Jones 

Shows

946: The Amazing Story of Adolphus Tips - the music and the set were fantastic.  

Comedy night at Rooster T Feathers - fun, friends

Love Sick - ambitious, beautiful images 

SF Sketchfest Tribute to Fred Willard, with special guests Christopher Guest, Robert Klein, Laraine Newman and moderator Kevin Pollak - Fred Willard... is just like you'd want him to be. :) 

Dinosaurs of Comedy - pretty good!

Neo futurists - great set of minis :) 

Luzia! - gorgeous show, vip night

Resonance at Pianofight - soulful, fun gathering

Ty Segall - the mosh pit!!  so much energy

Assassins - well performed, could use better tech

Into the Woods - so creative, wonderfully performed

Hamilton (preview night) - great theatre making, great music, wanted more authentic hip hop/rap

Alvin Ailey - beautiful

The Kills - showboat-y but fun, nice use of media

Joshua Cook - unexpected, photogenic, visceral 

The Orwell's - young, fun

Acrosports showcase - Joan was great!  fun and inspiring

Needles and Opium - amazing and innovative imagery/tech, beautiful performances, cerebral, emotional

John - delightful, strange, deep 

ILLUMINATE - destiny arts!  wonderful and important work

The Mass - mosswood, kids, last show...? 

Comedy Banquet - psychedelic science, fascinating 

Nerd Nite - awesome, unexpected

The Encounter - 3d sound, inventive theatre, great storytelling

Urinetown - not done as well as I'd hoped

Battlefield - sleepy night, well directed

Jarrod Spector - magical, dreamy

Dearest Home - beautiful movement, beautiful lighting 

Zoey and The Wind-Up Boy - community, multimedia, great moments, could use some editing

Roman Holiday - well performed, charming

Aerial Artique - Spring showcase, inspiring 

La la

Sonnet 18
BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date;
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st;
Nor shall death brag thou wander’st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st:
   So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
   So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Learning to fly

Last February, Yuki asked if I would be interested in trying an aerial silks class with her.  I was in the midst of a fresh and devastating break up, and willing to do just about anything that seemed difficult and positive, so I said yes.  We signed up for a 3 intro class package and started on March 15th. 

My arms were so sore the day after the first class that I could barely lift my backpack and it hurt to open doors.  I checked in with Yuki, and she said she couldn't raise her arms up all the way.  :) We could barely hang on to the silks our first night, much less climb them, but we were hooked. 

A little over a year later, I'm still pretty clumsy, but I'm learning to fly... 

P.S. The last item on the board in the bottom left corner of this photo says, "Be sassy AF".  :) 

Creative self portrait 2

Here's number 1  ...which, in retrospect, is a bit more revealing than I meant it to be.  

  

Right now, I'm sitting at my little chrome sided dining room table listening to an old Sony stereo system that I got, like, a million years ago.  It has 3 CDs in the 3 disc changer (that I may never be able to get out because the tray gets jammed).  The 3 CDs are: Alex Kelly/Solos, Carla Bruni - the one with J'en connais, and a Stan Getz and Joao Gilberto collection.  I had to listen to them to find out.  

I'm eating a pasta that I made from a YouTube video where a guy recreates dishes he's seen in movies.  The pasta I made is good, but I'm pretty sure I did something wrong and that it's supposed to be considerably better than it is... c'est la vie.  

A good friend of mine gave me a deck of TruthBombs as a belated birthday gift.  The one I'm looking at right now says, "Admit to what you feel greedy about.  It will point to your most tender desire."  

  

No guarantees

...but, what if the life you've imagined is nothing like the life you've been conditioned to believe you're supposed to have? 

I had a thought the other day that maybe we are all given a finite amount of time here and that, no matter what we do, we will die at a predetermined moment.  

So, if we sit around and only make smart decisions, eat healthy, exercise, have goals... or, if we go on irresponsible adventures, do drugs, challenge limits, and only eat donuts... we will die at one exact moment.  

I mean, could that be why overweight smokers can live well into their 80s and die in a plane crash, while a 30 year old health nut dies suddenly of a heart attack?  Or, why people survive a suicide jump or an overdose?  Is it why people are shot in the crossfire or fall asleep at the wheel?  Is it why people survive cancer?  Or why people don't... 

And, if it were true, would it change anything for you? 

It definitely gives some weight to living the life you've imagined, right?  That doesn't necessarily mean you should live an irresponsible life because (as you likely know) that doesn't always serve you well, or even feel good, and you want to enjoy your life while you're here -- but, it does make things like cliff jumping and eating donuts seem like things you should definitely do.  

:) 

City of stars...

(I'm obsessed with La La Land... )

I read an article recently that said that people who are chronically late tend to be incredibly optimistic -- basically, because they think they can defy time and space with their magic to get to places on time.

That seems about right to me.  :)

I, personally, also seem to think I can defy age and circumstances with my magic.  ...and, I do.  To an extent.  ...which has a tendency to land me in the middle of some really great adventures -- aaaand some pretty epic heartbreak...

In the last month, I've had some great adventures.

Luzia
Stacey's visit
Chinese New Year Parade
Dancing at Barbarossa
Todd's birthday party
The Michaels' Oscar party
The middle of the mosh pit
St. Helena

I've had outstanding time with wonderful friends, special time with my family, exercised excessively, flirted with possibility, felt the profound pain of loss, said yes to the celebrations, and took some time to get away.

Defy, and find the magic. 

Because... Love

Alice and I had been talking about her wedding since her engagement last Spring (a lot of the wedding planning coincided with our trip planning for NZ/Australia).  As a result, I was privy to many realtime decisions and updates about the wedding, which made it so fun to see it all come together in such a brilliant and beautiful day!  Every detail was well thought out, Alice was gorgeous, the food and venue were perfect, and the party was a blast!!  

What an amazing day and celebration! 

A couple of weeks before the wedding, Alice had eight of us meet her in Scottsdale for her bachelorette party -- a weekend of great food, golf cart rides, giggles, a burlesque class, drinks, shopping, dancing, late night tacos, and random encounters with very buff men...  ?  Haha.  Who knew, Scottsdale...?  ;)  My birthday started in the middle of our last night there, and I couldn't have asked for a better way to start the day.  :)  

Big congrats to the lovely couple!! 💕

A Banksy

[A photograph I took of "a Banksy" from the exhibit in Melbourne - (Were we allowed to take photos?  Was he watching me?  Will I be a part of the next exhibit??  Damn.)]

The Someone I haven't said much about... filled my life with music and dreams and hope and... seemed to be exactly what I had asked for, somehow.  Well, almost.  Er...maybe... yet to be determined... but, that's so hopeful to write, isn't it?  And, haven't I learned, yet, that hope can be so frivolous.  But, to give up hope.... 

Elevate

Writing by candlelight, watching the rain, and drinking a wine called Stars Like Ours -- which seems perfect for the moment.

I saw two films in the last two days: 

• Hidden Figures - a film about the untold stories of amazing black women who changed the trajectory of the space program in the 60s, while breaking down racial boundaries, and never giving up.  

• La La Land - a visceral, inescapable modern day musical that left me speechless and with an actual pain in my heart.  Like, a good pain.  Like, an important pain.  (The film could've used a better sound mixer -- though, in the end, it really didn't matter.)

Surprisingly wholesome and inspiring films.  

2016

This moment was magical.  I drove to the Embarcadero and found perfect parking, walked straight into Super Bowl City, the OneRepublic concert was fantastic, George and his friends were great company, Hispanic men called me "bonita" all night after I told them I didn't understand Spanish :P, the energy of the crowd was amazing, we danced in the street, and the fireworks were beautiful.  

It was a great start to the year. 

And then... 

Aatman broke up with me, my boss and I started having challenges (ruining my dream job), I distanced myself from family and good friends because I wasn't sure how to move forward, my car was smashed into, I cried at work and at parties and for entire days, I started to feel old, a significant amount of generation defining celebrities passed away, Trump was elected president, a bunch of people were burned to death in an Oakland artist warehouse -- not to mention Syria, Standing Rock, Black Lives Matter... 

But also... 

I went to Croatia, Aatman and I managed to have a really nice farewell before he moved to Utah, I started working out and feeling strong, met someone who took me to see some amazing music, got a new car, went to Disneyland, learned to be a better me, patched things up with my boss, made new friends, laughed as much as I could, found great support in random people, reconnected with family and good friends when I was ready to move forward, went to New Zealand and Australia, found light again and again and again, was pleasantly surprised a few times, got to meet my new nephew, and just didn't give up. 

What I learned:

Glowworms are basically glowing maggots that hang long strings of mucus from themselves to catch bugs so they can eat them -- but, when you're in the glowworm caves, it's like you're silently floating through a dense constellation of gorgeous, endless, tiny blue stars.  

The shows

Digable Planets - awesome, nostalgic

Band of Horses - great show

Soulection - great music, fun day, run to blue bottle

Hiero Day - hot, hood, fun

Jake Shimabukuro - delightful and impressive as always

Damon Wayans Jr. - action comedy 

Flying Lotus - inspiring, innovative, chasing the moon

RACE: Stories from the Tenderloin - raw, emotional, community

Caught - cerebral and ambitious

Shakespeare or Space Wars - brilliant, so fun

World of Dance - super human

Echo and the Bunnyman - Mel's night

Golden State Record (Pop-Up Magazine) - smart, impactful, could use a stronger live event producer (like me? :) )

Hedwig (Lena Hall) - flawless

Oakland Music Festival (Eli's) - finding our way...

Romeo and Juliet (We Players) - beautiful setting, escape

Treasure Island Music Festival - rain, friends, fast clouds, girl bonding

Grave Digger the Musical - fight direction, silly, great singing

Danny Green - friends, special venue, great music

Billy Bragg and Joe Henry - legends

Sango - great mix

Rave to the Grave - dancing, fun night 

Nosferatu at Grace Cathedral w/ live organ - perfect surprise

Hedwig (Darren Criss) - I preferred Lena ;)

It Couldn't Happen Here - predictive... 

Dam Funk - great energy

The Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee - playful, well performed

Hiromi - incredible musicians

Our Enemies: Lively Scenes of Love and Combat - great acting, thoughtful work

SFHHDF Programs A and B - best show

Othello (Sydney Opera House) - best Shakespeare ever

Gary Gulman - silly comedy

The Mass - reunion, metal 

A Christmas Carol - absolutely Christmas  

NZ / Australia

I was sitting at a party about 6 months ago, and Alice walked up and said, "Who wants to go to Australia?"

ME. :) 

We tacked on a 3 day layover in New Zealand about a month later, and it was so worth it!  

New Zealand was a wonderland... the glow worm caves, kiwi birds, the luge, the delightful breakfasts...  3 days, of course, was not enough time.  We only got to see a fraction of the North island, and it was amazing.  

And, then, I fell in love with Sydney the moment I stepped off of the train.  I was already falling when we got to the hotel, but the relationship solidified when I saw the Harbor Bridge and the Sydney Opera House around the bay.  The other places we visited in Australia were also full of magic.  :) 

Here's my recap: 

New Zealand:

Lovely breakfasts

Driving on the left side of the road (! That was challenging)

Mount Eden - the crater lookout point

The oysters and our delightfully charming waiter

Sky Tower

Glow worm caves

Kiwi House and Native Bird Park

Rotorua 

Korean BBQ night 

Hot springs pools 

Fog Dog Cafe and Bar

Wai-O-Tapu Scenic Wonderland

The Luge

Hobbiton's last tour of the day (we barely made it!)

Australia: 

Sydney

Harbor Bridge Climb

Sky Tower

Blue Mountains Tour

Featherdale Wildlife Park

Holding a baby wallaby

The koalas

Sydney Opera House

Ben Harper concert right outside of the Opera House (we didn't attend, but we could see/hear it while we were there)

Othello at the Opera House (fantastic!)

The Jacarandas

Melbourne

The walk through the city 

Federation Square

The river 

Shrine of Remembrance

The Botanical Gardens

Banksy exhibit

Night Noodle Market

The Great Ocean Road

The bird on my head! 

More koalas

Helicopter ride

Twelve apostles 

Jetstar

Cairns

The palm trees

Souvenir shopping

Fish and chips

the Great Barrier Reef.. ! 

The bats

Kuranda Koala Gardens