Here

After 11 years in this apartment, and 20 years in this neighborhood, I'm moving. 

I'm not moving far, just across town into a newer building -- but, I'm struggling to leave here. 

The first time I visited Piedmont Avenue I knew it was exactly where I wanted to be. It seemed impossible to move into the perfectly charming neighborhood when I could barely afford to live in the ghetto.... but then, the dot-com boom crashed, and it was suddenly possible. My friend, Matt, and I moved into a sweet little two bedroom apartment near the ave with a view of palm trees and the tip of the Bay Bridge, and I remember standing with him on our little balcony and feeling like I had finally found the California I was looking for. 

I lived in that apartment for 7.5 years. Matt moved out to live with his girlfriend around year 5, and Josh (my boyfriend at the time) moved in during year 6. Eventually, Josh wanted us to move into a new space together, so we left my little apartment for a bigger place in the neighborhood -- and, soon after that, we broke up...  

Fortunately for me we were in a recession at the time, so I managed to find a one bedroom apartment I could afford on my own, still in the neighborhood -- and, that's how I ended up here. 

Here is an old building, with a ceiling that leaks (and, that has literally fallen in), with mold, and an old stove with a burner that I have to hit every time I want to make an omelette... the washer and dryer for the floor is constantly broken, the elevator is never up to code, and the hallways are dirty and are sometimes only partially lit. Here is where the people in the penthouse have maybe filmed porn and have definitely released dogs to run around on the roof, and where the music pleasantly trickles down now that we're in a jazz ensemble phase. Here is where I covered a wall with playbills, mended my most devastating broken hearts, got a job at Google, started facing my fears, created an underground show and started working as a producer...  I met and befriended my sweet neighbors, fell in love with the treelined streets, spent many weekends walking to Piedmont Ave/the Rose Garden/the lake, and many afternoons watching the squirrels run along the power lines or jump from the rooftop into the tree outside my balcony... Here is a place that I have loved entirely... This building, with all of its flaws and silly antics. This neighborhood that I soaked up completely, in every way that I thought I could... 

Sometimes you don't know how in love you are until it's time to move on. 

Farewell, El Dorado... 💛